Who hasn't, at some point, wished they were Zai Bennett. Or indeed wondered who he is.
Well, wish and wonder no longer, friends. Because now you can have (nearly) all the power of the controller of BBC Three, without leaving the comfort of your armchair. Or London.
And it's all thanks to a clever chap called Jonathan Cresswell, who has created a BBC Three programme generator. Simply click on 'New Show' below to discover the name of the BBC Three documentary you could be commissioning:
Cresswell is a freelance journalist and web designer and says that the inspiration for the generator "came from many evenings feeling slightly bad watching crap TV with friends."
"It just clicked that so many documentaries on the channel hit the same naming formula - the '1, 2 and 3' trio of issues. The kind where the trailer will end in something like 'Growing up can be hard, if you're... Deaf, Prone And On Fire,", he tells The Huffington Post UK.
"The other inspiration was the fantastic Daily Mail-o-matic headline generator - which I have installed as a Chrome plugin, and sometimes forget it's turned on when I go to the Daily Mail website and it changes all the headlines to fake ones.
And as for the programme titles themselves? "I trawled through lists of every documentary on the channel, got some suggestions through Twitter and came up with a few more funny words - and sorted them in to categories so you can get some range," Cresswell explains. "I quite like that many of the titles come in a slightly awkward middle-ground of sounding ridiculous yet plausible at the same time. After all, who wouldn't want to watch Bald, Incontinent And Lapdancing or WAG, Underage And At War?"
Who indeed?