A man singing about cheap fish, a 19-year-old who could be Stacey Solomon's sister (accompanied by her pet Chihuahua) and an Iranian nuclear engineering student are just some of the weird and wonderful singers trying their luck on this year's X Factor.
Yes it's that time of year again when Simon Cowell's employees are on the hunt for the stars of the next series of TV's biggest song contest this side of Azerbaijan.
Part of this process involves holding auditions across the country, where hopeful warblers turn out in force - mums, other halves, nans and pets in tow - to impress the judges.
I was invited down to the London auditions held at the 02 Arena on Monday to meet a batch of singers trying their luck at getting into the competition - a competition which has provided a global platform, success and superstardom for some acts like Leona Lewis and One Direction, while stripping the dignity and dreams of others.
What sort of people are hungry enough for fame to put themselves through the painful selection process - and wait for hours inside a building on a beautiful sunny day - to get the chance to sing in front of judges Gary Barlow, Tulisa, Louis Walsh and guest judge Rita Ora?
And then there are the thousands of X Factor fans they've got to impress, who've arrived to watch and ridicule the hopefuls from the wings.
Monday's audience was hungry for a laugh, growing impatient with one act who was asked to sing again and shouting "go back to Spain" at another.
We were reminded how vital their reaction is to the judging process - after saying he wasn't sure about whether to put someone through, Louis quickly changed his decision to a "yes" when the crowd started jeering and clapping for the act. Giving the people what they want seemed to be the rule.
I can't name the contestants, the songs they sung or their sob stories - everything must be kept under wraps to avoid "spoiling" the programme when it comes on air - but I can say, despite The Voice snapping up a fair few talented unsigned singers lately, there are plenty more out there still flocking to the X Factor .
And for every good act that demonstrated promise, there was another with the ability to murder songs on stage and stand proudly demanding to be put through by the judges, while the audience roared with laughter.
Although the last series depicted Gary as the man in charge, it was, in fact Louis Walsh who seemed to be running the show at these auditions.
The most sensitive of the bunch, Louis gave acts another shot once they'd forgotten their words or sang their own badly-written songs, picking more up-beat, popular numbers for them to perform to get the crowd going. You could tell he's a veteran.
Meanwhile, Tulisa showed her usual lack of tact and gave her no-nonsense views clearly, telling one nervous girl "stick to the day job" and a cocky guy: "I don't think you're serious."
Gary was back on his high horse, shouting at the audience at one point: "You should be ashamed of yourselves," when they laughed at a petrified-looking performer. He was also the voice of reason. When it was needed, he claimed: "That was absolutely horrific", while reassuring another hopeful: "I absolutely love your vocal."
As for the guest judge, Rita Ora, unless you keep an eye on who's at the top of the charts you probably won't have heard of her. The R.I.P singer said: "I'm just like you - remember that. I've just started too. I'm here to help." And a novice she seemed as she dished out lines that mainly didn't make sense and claimed to like the people that everyone else hated.
It's unclear when the permanent replacement for Kelly Rowland will be announced - lets hope it's not Rita - there's even talk of Sharon Osbourne returning after a four-year absence. Judging by today's shenanigans, she'll fight right back in.
