If you were going to throw a metaphorical party of dead literary types, James Joyce would be an obvious choice for an invite. HuffPost Culture likes to think he'd be the first to grab a party hat, but not before comparing it to the deceased insides of a conch shell and downing a pint of Guinness.
We are not alone in such a theory, as the recent Bloomsday event on 16 June showed, in which the Irish author is celebrated on the same day his challenging novel Ulysses is set.
There is a lot to be thankful to Joyce for, but we thought the best of his bizarre quotes don't get enough appreciation. So here are our favourites.