A lot of us are quite bad at reading signs, especially when it comes to the first date, which is a minefield of mixed signals and nerves.
Fortunately (or unfortunately) our body knows better and even if our brain feels like it cannot function right, our bodies are speaking their own language.
Not many of us have the skill to decode it, though it might just be the key to making our dating technique and relationships better.
Body language expert Susan Quilliam shared her knowledge with online dating site Cupid.com revealing how we can discover a man's true intentions.
He’s interested and he wants to see you again
Full length of model leaning in, hand on hip
Look at the model’s body. He has turned it fully towards his date, he is interested in the way she looks and he’s leaning in to have a clear grasp of what she’s saying and wants to understand her so he can articulate a good response. His head is very slightly on one side, showing that he is listening so he is showing more than just sexual attraction and is romantically interested. His slight smile is a universal signal of approval and interest and his direct eye contact underlines his interest in this girl.
His slight curve of his torso angles in towards the female and he’s trying to literally ‘bridge the gap’ between her and him by leaning forward.
He is trying to stress his masculine shape of a wide upper body by positioning his left arm in a 'display position’, these poses are effectively male peacocking and trying to showcase sexual prowess. He is trying to show off his strong body in front of the female and has done this by angling his elbow out and anchoring this position in place by tucking his hand into his pocket. In turn, this also draws attention to his hips, another ‘display’ tactic in the hope of drawing the female’s attention to his upper body and emphasising his masculinity.
His right arm is angled out and reaches towards his date, again to bridge the gap. It’s so close it’s nearly touching her and he’s reaching right into her personal space. He is definitely keen!
Now look at his feet, another clear signal that he likes this girl. Without thinking about it, he has positioned them very slightly open and one is pointing towards the female.
Shot of girl’s feet with his right foot stretched to hers
Here, both feet are angled towards the female in a V that encloses her feet. This is a rather erotic pose and shows sexual intent.
Again, the model’s right foot is so close to the female’s that it looks like they’re touching. The angle of the right foot with the heel on floor and toe upwards shows forward movement intention, for example, he'd like to move towards the female.
Male’s hand outstretched to female’s
Here, our man has broken into the female’s intimate space, his fingers are pointing towards her. His relaxed hands show he feels comfortable in her company and there is a solid rapport.
Just friends
Male standing tall but with smile and open left hand
Here, the male model is clearly just hoping to be friends. He has turned his body towards the female which shows his interest but his straight posture shows that he probably isn’t interested in ‘bridging the gap’ between them because he is not leaning forward.
Unlike in the previous pose, there is no ‘display position’ so he’s not bothering to emphasise his masculine shape or draw attention to his hips. It could be said he’s simply standing in neutral.
He has his right arm pulled back and has his hand within his own, not the female’s personal space. His fingers are curled and not pointing towards the female unlike in the previous pose.
With his left arm by his side, there is no ‘display’ but his open arm and hand shows an ‘openness’ to the female’s ideas and he intends to include her in the conversation. The way his head and neck are angled forward and the slight tilt of his head are also signs of this. His legs are together and straight, there are no ‘display’ signs and ‘no bridging the gap.’
Man’s hand on table but not stretched out towards woman. His elbow pulled back into slightly towards his body
The male’s hands clearly show that he likes this girl, his fingers are angled towards her but he is not ‘indicating’ which is when extremities such as fingers and feet show the direction of interest. His fingers are curved round back towards his body and not pointing towards the female which shows interest but not clear sexual intention. There is also no touching which is another sign he is not romantically interested. His arm is back into towards his body, again indicating that he's keeping a 'friendly' distance between her and him.
Wandering eye
Model looking away
There are some very conflicting signals here showing that he isn’t really interested in this girl as a person but there is some sexual interest.
His body and torso are turned towards his date which shows a slight focus on her, his right arm is slightly intruding into her personal space which shows some sexual interest. Meanwhile, his left arm is in a ‘display position’ with his elbow out and fingers hooked into his waist which are emphasising his masculinity and underline his sexual interest.
His head and neck are lowered away from the female showing a clear lack of interest in what she’s saying and much more focus on his own thoughts. Whatever he wants her for, it’s not her conversation!
There is also no smile and no chemistry between the couple and no eye contact, he’s certainly not into her and is lost in his own thoughts.
Head and shoulder shot of male model
The male model’s upright posture emphasises his masculine shape and his elbows are extended to show off his broad torso but with his head up and his shoulders slightly back, this suggests he doesn’t want to ‘bridge the gap’.
There is no real smile, he has a flat, expressionless face which shows no interest either as a friend or a potential lover. The eye contact is sliding away from the female so it's likely that the torso display is not meant for her at all but someone else in the room. Check out where his feet are pointing to find out who's the real object of his attention!
Man’s legs only with his hand on his hip and his left foot out to the side
We tend to try to control upper body signals, particularly the face, because we know that's what people most pay attention to but our legs and feet often give the game away; however much he's trying to pretend interest, the man’s lower body shows lack of it.
His left hand is giving a display signal, emphasising hips and drawing attention to them but the fact that torso and hips are angled away shows display is not aimed at this female and the fact his left leg is stretched out as if he is walking shows he probably wants to leave.
Man's feet only with left foot pointing away
Here, both of the man’s feet are angled directly away from this female almost in the opposite direction and is a very clear signal of wanting to be out of her space. His legs and feet are not enclosing hers, so she is not the object of his desire.
Again, his left foot is raised, a sign of wanting to 'walk'. That foot is probably giving a clear signal to another woman in the room that he's interested in her. Somewhere nearby there's definitely a woman who is subconsciously getting all the interest signals that this man’s date would prefer!