A former US Marine has claimed that he spent 17 years defending humanity on the surface of Mars.
The former serviceman who goes by the name 'Captain K', but who we are unable to verify independently, reportedly claims that he was sent there to hold back the tides of alien invaders at five separate colony bases.
The man claims to have worked for the 'Earth Defence Force', joined by fighters from countries including the US, Russia and China.
Speaking to ExoNews TV, he said that the training for his mission took place on Titan, Earth's moon and deep space.
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There is no evidence that any of this is true, of course. But there might be evidence that Kaye, whoever he is, might deserve as much help and empathy as he does ridicule.