Pint-swilling Al Murray’s Pub Landlord has offered his verdict on the party leaders in the run-up to Britain’s General Election.
Murray, who entered the race for the Kent constituency this month as leader of the Free United Kingdom Party (FUKP), made his comments in the wake of a poll which revealed he would make a better Prime Minister than most of his competitors.
Commissioned by Hotwire PR, it asked “Who would make the best Prime Minister?”, with Murray missing out by a hair's breadth to David Cameron.
Al Murray's Pub Landlord has offered verdicts on the party leaders in the run up to the election
The findings of a Hotwire poll of more than 2,000 people
Murray told The Sun: “This poll shows that there is room in the bland world of British politics for someone who isn’t afraid of being an actual character.
“I don’t want to speak out of turn here, but the party leaders are out of touch: Not one of these people has pulled a pint in their lives, let alone driven a forklift for cash.
Nick Clegg is 'a mug' while David Cameron 'runs the country like you're supposed to shine him his brogues'
“Clegg is like a mug you’ve glued the handle back onto, you wouldn’t want to fill him up again.
“Miliband is in the dictionary under Twonk*, Farage has a French surname so is clearly a sleeper agent of some kind.
'Twonk'
“And Cameron runs the country like you’re supposed to shine him his brogues as a favour in return."
A spokesman for Hotwire said: “These findings underline the extent of voter apathy in Britain, with more people fancying the pub landlord as Prime Minister, instead of Ed Miliband. It is vital that the main political parties invest more time engaging with electorate to break down these barriers and restore trust in the political process."
Murray’s “13 point common sense action plan to save this country” includes a pledge to revalue the pound at £1.10 in order to make it worth 10p more.
'Clearly a sleeper agent of some kind'
On immigration, Farage's signature issue, Murray said: "Of course the reason they are coming here is because this is the greatest country in the world. The only way to stop them is for a government to change that and make things a whole lot worse. Look no further. However, in the meantime, we brick up the Channel Tunnel. With British bricks. Probably have to get some Poles in to do it. Common sense."
And on foreign policy, the Pub Landlord, who is clearly attempting to out-Ukip Ukip, added: "Germany has been too quiet for too long. Just saying.
"I pledge that the UK will leave Europe by 2025 and the edge of the Solar System by 2050. Common market sense. In the meantime Greece to be bought and operated by Kent County Council. Couldn’t be worse. Someone to do the bins at least.”
Murray, 46, is standing in a constituency which the Conservative Party won from Labour at the previous election in 2010.
*Twonk, by the way refers to a “stupid or foolish person”, thought to have originated in the 1980s, perhaps as a blend of twit or twat and plonker.