Woman Warns Others To Never Poo During A Date After Toilet Time Goes Terribly Wrong

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I might be single, but I'm Never alone ::-) pic.twitter.com/pVI6WxTH05
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 19, 2016

This is Makela. And she has a pretty mortifying story to share.

Makela was on a date at someone's house when nature called - she had to poo.

Unfortunately, it triggered a string of pretty unfortunate events which, to cut a long story short, ended with Makela stashing a poo in her handbag and continuing her date.

Understandably, she's pretty scarred from the whole ordeal.

Here, she explains exactly what went wrong and why it's probably for the best that you don't poo at a date's house. Unless, of course, you know their toilet works properly...

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I have a story to tell. It is about my poop
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

So, yesterday I went on a date with a man who asked me out in the grocery store the other day. All was going well. I went back to his place
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

I am a confident, calm and self assured woman...so I felt comfortable popping in his bathroom. This was a mistake. His toilet did not flush
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

Properly. So, of course, like any calm, confident, self assured woman. I panicked. And flushed it a million times, making everything worse
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

By this point, I was really frantic because I had been in there for too long. There was only one single piece of poop. So in that moment
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

Something came over me. And I knew exactly what I had to do. I got toilet paper and removed the one poop from the toilet. Once that was done
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

I realized I didn't have a plan. What do I do with it now? I can't fucking leave it there. By this point I was REALLY freaking out because
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

I'd DEFINITELY been in there too long. So, again, making another horrible decision. I did the only thing I could think to do. I wrapped it
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

In multiple layers of toilet paper, and put it in my purse
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

Alright, so now what? We are sitting there on his couch and kissing and all I can think of is the piece of poop in my purse
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

Him: you're so beautiful. The moment you smiled at me,u had me
Me: that's really sweet
Me in my head: I have a piece of my poo in my purse
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

At this point, I text my sister for advice pic.twitter.com/lMeX55iiH4
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

So, after a few hours he used the washroom and I heard it flush. I figured he fixed it. Maybe not, but I have to take the chance. I hAve to
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

Try to flush the poop. So I brought my purse up to the washroom. Unwrapped the poop, prayed to every god I know, put it in and flushed
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

By the grace of God, it worked. The poo flushed. I was free. I was in the clear. Everything was going to be okay. I survived.I am a survivor
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

So that's my story. A man, sat there telling me I'm the most amazing woman he's ever met, not knowing, 10 feet away in my purse, was my poop
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

That I'd fished out of his toilet...
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

This is v embarrassing for me. But seriously: dont drink coffee before a date, its better to be sleepy than to have to hide poop in ur purse
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

Hilariously, Makela, who is from Toronto, Canada, shared the entire escapade on Twitter where each tweet has been retweeted thousands of times.

People were quick to comment about the crap-tastrophe.

One person hailed her story as "better storytelling than anything Hollywood has done since Grandma's Boy".

Another added: "This is the greatest work of serialised nonfiction since 'In Cold Blood'."

One thing's for sure, she'll never drink coffee before a date again. And neither will we.

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