Boris Johnson's Travel Advice As Foreign Secretary

"Britons in Brussels are advised against all but essential comparisons to Hitler."

With Boris Johnson still settling into his role as the new Foreign Secretary, someone has set up a Twitter account to help him out in providing travel advice to holidaying Brits.

How nice of them.

In BoJo’s usual grandiloquent manner, the tweets provide all sorts of useful tips to UK citizens planning to travel abroad.

Britons in Brussels are advised against all but essential comparisons to Hitler.

— Boris Travel Advice (@BorisTravAdvice) July 18, 2016

Brits in Turkey are advised to avoid all but essential limericks about the president having sex with goats.

— Boris Travel Advice (@BorisTravAdvice) July 16, 2016

Before choosing a hotel, carry out thorough checks of all staff for ancestral dislike of the British empire.

— Boris Travel Advice (@BorisTravAdvice) July 16, 2016

Beware! Con artists view tourists as easy targets – especially half-witted Brits who fell for my '£350m a week to the NHS' flimflammery.

— Boris Travel Advice (@BorisTravAdvice) July 17, 2016

The situation in Turkey remains labyrinthine and littered with discombobulating hogwashery. All Brits should remain on the qui vive.

— Boris Travel Advice (@BorisTravAdvice) July 16, 2016

Belgium is known for its medieval old towns and Flemish Renaissance architecture. The people who live there are called foreigners.

— Boris Travel Advice (@BorisTravAdvice) July 17, 2016

Boris Johnson’s appointment as foreign secretary has been met with a torrent of disbelief on Twitter where an avalanche of reasons why Theresa May’s decision “defies logic” have been piling up.

The main focus of these quips is Boris’ history of offending foreign leaders, the very people he will soon be negotiating with on behalf of the UK.

Recently Boris won a competition to pen the ‘most offensive’ poem about Turkish president Recep Tayyip Erdoğan. His £1,000 winning limerick was about Erdoğan having sex with a goat.

He also once referred to US President Barack Obama as a “part-Kenyan President”, and a visit to China during the Olympics in 2008 didn’t go down that well either.

Boris annoyed the locals who accused him of being “arrogant, rude and disrespectful”, when accepting the Olympic flag.

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