Having a baby is probably one of the most life-changing events of anyone's life and although not everyone will experience the same feelings, these are common ones that I have experienced personally as well as friends and family.
I've made a mistake
That sounds so awful. But even though I don't think I actually said those words, it did cross my mind. About day four when my hormones were crazy, my milk was coming in and I had a baby that wouldn't give me a break for one minute, I thought I had made a mistake. I had given up a carefree, easygoing life that revolved totally around myself (I'm aware of how selfish that sounds), and the things I wanted to do. My life now seemed over. After a teary phone call to my best friend, who actually answered the phone with "ahh, I've been expecting you, can't believe it took this long!", I realised it was probably a relatively normal feeling!
I don't like them
I actually never had this feeling in the early days but I know women who have. They never had that moment of overwhelming love, they didn't sob with tears of joy, they just felt... well, they felt nothing. Numb to the situation. It's fine to to feel this way. You can't just switch emotions on and sometimes it just takes a bit of time to develop these feelings. Don't be forced into feeling a certain way because you think that's how you're supposed to feel. It may take a little longer, you may be someone who needs a little back from them first before you can make that connection.
I have no routine
Having no routine is surely a routine in itself? It takes time and no amount of reading a book or watching Super Nanny is going to make your child head to bed with zero fuss and wake again at 7am. The baby hasn't read these books so how are they supposed to know? Any routine I have is a total fluke!
I wish they were older
I went through the first month wishing my daughter was older. Mainly because I was so petrified of cot death that I wished the nights away because I felt that once she was safely through those first few months then the chance of something awful happening would be reduced. I have to say it took me until she was around one before I felt I wanted time to slow up and felt I could live for the day a little more.
Something awful is going to happen to them
See above! The worry seems to change month to month but I'm not sure that will ever stop. That's it now, a life of worry. I've written about this several times in other posts too. It seems to be my thing!
When will it get easier?
Similar to when will the worry stop. There's not really an answer but I have to say now at 20 months in Matilda can tell me "I'm cold, I'm hot, I'm thirsty, I'm hungry", so that's got to be half the battle hasn't it? These are all things that necessitate life and that's pretty important I guess!
I don't want to breastfeed
You know what, if you don't want to breastfeed, then DON'T BREASTFEED. Don't succumb to the pressure if it's making you miserable. It's not for everyone, it's bloody hard and fed is best, irrelevant of how you provide it.
I want to be alone
Totally normal. When you have a baby everyone feels like they own a piece of you, like they can prioritise your time. There were lots of times when I had visitors that I nipped upstairs for "something" when in fact I just needed to go and lie on my bed, bury my face in my pillow and cry. Don't panic though, once the novelty of a new baby wears off all these people will drift off back to their normal lives and you'll just be left with the people who actually care and want to spend time with you.
How does everyone else make it look so easy?
Because they're bloody liars. It's not easy, nobody finds every aspect of it a piece of cake and those who pretend that they love it every single day are usually struggling behind closed doors (in my experience).
I can't do this
You can, you're amazing. Just by being there you are doing the best job ever. Keep going sister!
If you're concerned that these feeling are continuing months down the line then it's always a good idea to reach out and chat to someone.
You can read more from me on my blog at www.beautyandtheminibeasts.com
Stacey.x