Ladies and gentlemen of London! Who would you like to be your next mayor? BoJo? Red Ken? Or perhaps someone who combines the worst qualities of both?
In which case, cast your vote for Sir Ian Bowler: the self-styled "Lesser Of Three Evils (Nine If You Include The Little Parties)".
Sir Ian is the creation of comedian Nathaniel Tapley, and with the help of Finite Funnies (the people behind Vikki Stone's Phillip Schofield Song video), he's making a series of campaign videos. Or rather: a series of behind-the-scenes-on-a-hapless-campaign videos. You can see the first one below - and Sir Ian's official campaign video, above - but first, here is Sir Ian's very special message to you all:
"Dear Huffington Post UK
I am delighted that your readers are interested in my campaign. The mainstream media have shamelessly failed to cover the story, probably because the BBC is infiltrated with insufferable lefties like ex-head-of-the-Young-Conservatives Nick Robinson, ex-Murdoch-editor Andrew Neil, and eczema-covered buffoon Jeremy Clarkson.
Why should the people of London have to choose between a fatuous right-wing simpleton and an unpleasant man who enjoys handling pond life? Especially when they can have both.
Although I am better known for representing my rural constituency, Buckland and Ruttington - where my campaign to stop village idiots being replaced with large, out-of-town super-dunces has met with moderate success, I love London. It may be the 'dirty old man of Europe', but for some reason I fit in perfectly.
Ken had pledged to only have one job if he's elected Mayor. I'll go one better. I won't even do one very well.
We need development. As many airports as possible. I propose four underground airports at each corner of the city, and one floating above it, suspended from other aeroplanes. An airport in each garden. That's the dream.
People of London, I stand before you naked. Not literally. That would breach electoral guidelines, apparently. We live in a democracy where anyone can stand for Mayor. Literally anyone with access to £10,000.
Many politicians get that money from large, corporate interests, but I think that's unacceptable. Why should corruption be the exclusive purview of the privileged few. I am going to being it to the masses.
For a donation of just £10, you will be able to name your own manifesto pledge. I will have a manifesto of 1,000 pledges no matter how contradictory, nonsensical or bigoted. That is real democracy. Remember, all politicians can be bought, but only one can be bought this cheaply.
All the best,
Sir Ian Bowler"
So there you have it. Tapley - sorry, Sir Ian - fully intends to be on the ballot (just as soon as he's raised the £10,000 deposit and found 10 people in each of the 33 boroughs of London to support his nomination), so if you'd like to help the campaign, contact him on Twitter at @sirianbowlermp or on his 'weblog' www.ebowler.co.uk. As the man himself says, they need thinkers, designers, bodyguards and an owl. So get on it, Londoners. Your country city needs you!