As the Queen begins her Diamond Jubilee tour around Britain, the nation is preparing to celebrate the landmark date that marks 60 years of Her Majesty's reign.
Filling the merchandising void left by Valentines day, Diamond Jubilee memorabilia is flooding shop shelves, in a guise more hackneyed than highborn.
Amid the inevitable thimbles, tea towels, and novelty mugs lurk more suspect items, many which would no doubt make her Majesty blush.
Diamond Jubilee fancy dress outfits can be bought on eBay for the imaginatively challenged reveller, while what celebration would be complete without a life-size cut out of Her Majesty?
Union Jack waistcoat, bowtie and hat: the sartorial jubilee
Pets shouldn't miss out on Queenly fun either. A doggy T-shirt is available, made of a light cotton (Jubilee gaiety ramps up during the hot summer months). For those even more concerned about making their pets presentable, a diamond dog collar is available, complete with hanging silver crowns (starting at £25.)
It's unlikely that Queen Elizabeth will remove her crown to don one of these felt cowboy hats, even though they are emblazoned with the union jack.
For the more minimalist roisterer, a simple white Diamond Jubilee G-string is available, featuring the royal crest.
Efforts to transform even the most unlikeliest of items into royal celebrations can only be applauded. However the cheekiest item trying to masquerade into way into the swathes of royal memorabilia is this plain white box, advertised as being "perfect for..diamond jubilee"
The white box
All these Diamond Jubilee memorabilia souvenirs certainly show that as a nation, the British are proud to celebrate the reign of Queen Elizabeth II. Either that, or there is a lot of tat out there.