Are you sitting comfortably? Good, because Nick Cannon has gone on quite the Twitter rant about his alleged split from Mariah Carey, and we aren’t going to lie - it’s a bit of a bum-number.
There have been rumours flying around all over the shop for weeks now that Mariah and Nick might be calling it quits after six years of marriage, and last month it was reported that he’d confirmed there was “trouble in paradise” and that they were now living in separate houses.
Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey
Nick has now gone on a lengthy - and when we say “lengthy” we mean “epic, mammoth, ‘War and Peace’-esque” - Twitter rant about his marital situation, panning the media for chronicling his supposed split.
Taking to his official page on Wednesday night, the ‘America’s Got Talent’ host said that he’d been “personally absent from social media for several months” but “felt the need to finally speak up” and set the record straight.
Gather ye round and let Nick tell thee a tale:
It wasn’t all fist-shaking at the media, though, as things took a sweet turn when he started heaping praise on his wife, R&B diva, elusive chanteuse and Undisputed Queen of Shade, Mariah Carey, writing:
However, Nick quickly got back to the task at hand - dealing with the bee in his bonnet - when he accused his friends of selling him down the river by speaking to the media, adding:
He rounded things off nicely by slamming the supposed “trouble in paradise” quote, claiming that was a “dumb” phrase he would “never say”. Of course, this would be a lot easier to believe from a man who didn’t have a duet with R Kelly entitled ‘Gigolo’, but we’ll take his word for it.
Last week Mariah - who had ditched her wedding ring in favour of a bling-tastic butterfly ring instead - totally ignored questions from a journalist who asked her whether she’d split up with Nick in the street, telling her it was “too hot to talk, sweetie”.
Amazing.