Donald Trump's Bible Would Be A Terrible Read

"Can anything good come out of Nazareth? I mean, I'm sure some of them are good people and all. But mostly we get their worst." #TrumpBible

— Rachel Held Evans (@rachelheldevans) August 27, 2015

There was no room at the inn. Mary and Joseph should have gone to a Trump resort. Classy. Myrrh like you can't imagine. #TrumpBible

— Jeff Fecke (@jkfecke) August 26, 2015

"I'm not saying Jesus wasn't born in Bethlehem. I'm just saying show me the birth certificate." #trumpbible

— Leon Jacobs (@leonjacobs) August 27, 2015

God took 6 days to create the universe & then took a day of rest? Lazy. Inefficient. I pay a guy $3 and he builds me a universe. #TrumpBible

— Ryan Barrell (@RyanBarrell) August 29, 2015

I love God. He's a builder. Made the world in 6 days. That's YUUUUUUUGE. I would have used more marble. But He did a nice job. #TrumpBible

— Donald J. Drumpf (@RealDonalDrumpf) August 27, 2015

Scribe: Which is the greatest commandment?

Jesus: Sit down. Nobody called on you. Go back to Jerusalem.

#TrumpBible

— Brian Zahnd (@BrianZahnd) August 27, 2015

"Jesus? Nice guy, but LOW, LOW energy, I mean, bleeding out of his hands, his feet, his wherever..." #TrumpBible

— Christopher Heuertz (@ChrisHeuertz) August 29, 2015

" and Mary? No disrespect but she's pregnant, a teenager, unmarried. I mean she’s basically a disaster.” #Trumpbible

— Laura McAfee (@LauraMcAfee1) August 29, 2015

Don't get me wrong: Jesus? Great guy, classy. But a terrible executive. I would never tolerate a traitor within my organization. #TrumpBible

— Jeff B@AoSHQDD (@EsotericCD) August 27, 2015

He gets himself crucified, and we're to call him Savior! He's a loser; couldn't save himself! I like guys that weren't crucified.#TrumpBible

— TheCultOfRay (@EduExpIntel) August 29, 2015

And Moses went to Pharaoh and said to him, "Let my people go!" and Pharaoh did because Moses knew how to negotiate. #TrumpBible

— Ben Casselman (@bencasselman) August 26, 2015

Great flood, total disaster. Totally mismanaged by Noah, not a smart guy, total loser, couldn't even save the dinosaurs. #TrumpBible

— Trump Bible (@TheTrumpBible) August 28, 2015

God? Good guy. But he just wipes out all humans with a flood? Irresponsible way of handling assets, believe me. #TrumpBible@trumpbible

— Trump Bible (@trumpbible) August 28, 2015