Whether you give your partner a cheeky little nudge or just simply outright ask if they’re up for a sesh in the sheets, we all have our own love languages and that extends even to our bedroom roll-arounds.
However, according to new research from the sexperts at Lovehoney, it turns out that some of us, just over a quarter of us actually, initiate sex with... a text message.
What I’m picturing here is a, “u up?” text but for your wife. A little late night DM slide for your partner. A deliberation over whether three or four x’s should be added to the end of the message. Does an extra x mean foreplay is included?
Who knows what the in’s and out’s (oo-er) are. What we do know is that 27% of the people surveyed by Lovehoney have redefined sexting within their relationship.
How Brits prefer to initiate sex
The Lovehoney research, which surveyed 1,500 adults in October 2023 found that the most popular ways to indicate interest in sex are physical touch and romantic gestures but between the sexes, approaches tend to vary.
Women prefer the most popular forms of seduction but more than half of men reported that they prefer direct communication with an expression of clear consent.
On why physical touch and romantic gestures rank the most preferred ways of initiating sex, Elisabeth Neumann, Head of User Research at Lovehoney said, “There is the assumption that the mind is aroused first, and then the body will follow, but it can totally work the other way around.
“Consensual touch, which feels teasing, tingling or otherwise erotic, might initiate mental and physical arousal.”
Interestingly, a study conducted by Susan Sprecher, a Sociology and Anthropology professor at Illinois State University found that 60% of men in heterosexual relationships tend to initiate sex but for partners that reported equal initiation and female initiation tended to report greater sexual satisfaction for both partners.
Sprecher speculates that men tend to fall into initiating more often because societal norms suggest that men should pursue and women should be pursued but given that relationships with the most balance are the happiest, maybe it’s time to do away with those ideals.
How to initiate sex discreetly while you’re home for Christmas
Of course, we’re very close to the festive season and for many of us, it means heading home for Christmas and spending a lot of time around our loved ones. Neumann advises that you can still subtly let your partner know you’re down for a festive frolic by sharing secret glances, kissing or even non-sexual touching can be enough to signal your interest.
Happy holidays, indeed.