Along with gaslighting and red flags, ‘love bombing’ is a term we’ve all come to know as when someone lavishes excessive love, affection and attention on you to the point where it becomes suffocating and manipulative.
Abusers often use love bombing to win victims over before switching off the niceties and becoming nasty..
It’s hard to differentiate the signs of love bombing from the usual whirlwind of a fresh romance. They’re super complimentary, want to know everything about you, take interest in your hobbies, job, family and friends.
And sometimes, the signs of love bombing can be confused with signs of anxiety, too.
Nervy people can often get too much in their own head about things, especially anxiety-inducing situations like a relationship. They might end up putting in a little bit too much effort.
Relationship anxiety is apparently a really common problem, affecting approximately one in five people.
Here are some signs to tell that your partner is just anxious, and isn’t attempting to lovebomb you…
1. Anxiety, like with love bombing, can come from a source of insecurity, and can mean that your partner is hyper-sensitive to your emotions. They might give too many gifts or compliments, simply because they want to make sure that you know they like you.
2. If they want to be around you all the time, it’s maybe because they have a fear of abandonment. Gently assure them that you’re in this 100% and make it clear you need some time to yourself.
3. If they call or message you all the time, they could be feeling anxious. Especially if they’re not calling to check where you are, but simply to check in with how you are and how you’re feeling.
4. If they’re constantly seeking reassurance that you’re happy with them.
Ultimately, your partner having anxiety is a problem they need to deal with, and you don’t need to let it control your life as their love.
Have a chat with them if they’re coming on too intense or controlling and let them know that it’s not okay. Give them time to work on themselves or get professional time if you’re serious about being with this person.
And if you think you might be dealing with emotional coercion or an abuser, the NHS has a page of helplines you can contact.