I know that this makes me a spoilsport, but I can’t stand Secret Santa. As somebody who is great at giving gifts and puts a lot of thought into them, there’s nothing more frustrating than getting a piece of useless tat that was definitely picked up at the last second.
Anyway, I digress. My Scrooge-like tendencies aside, I know that I’m not alone and in fact, there are lots of us that dread this dubious tradition. Save the tat and instead, opt to not set up a meeting that could have been an email as a gift to us tbh.
With this in mind, Reddit user Fine-Tomato-6298 hopefully wasn’t looking for ideas when they asked: “What is the most unforgivable/ridiculous Secret Santa gift you have received?”
After reading it, I’ll take a novelty stress ball any day, tbh.
Kicking things off with an example of the best kind of humour there is, FoodExternal said: “I had been off work with some mental ill-health and fortunately we only did Secret Santa in our small group.
“I received - and was delighted by, as it removed a lot of stigma - a bag of marbles, with a note [saying] ‘In case you ever lose yours again’.”
Love.
Similarly, user Fairyology added: “Broke up with my boyfriend and less than a month later got a ‘grow your own boyfriend’ from secret santa...”
Art.
Then, it got a bit miserable. Ted_Ten_Thousand said: “I worked for a small company that was owned by an actual billionaire. She picked out my name for Secret Santa. She got me a very cheap looking solar powered torch. Yes… a solar powered torch.
“A torch that requires sunlight to work. Even if it was a normal torch, who the fuck buys that for someone as a Secret Santa gift?! Why get me that? Not once did I express a love of wandering around in poorly lit places.”
WELL. Quite. Just give me the money!
Useful_Trick was given a simply baffling gift: “When I was at school I received a secret Santa, it was a smarties tube with two dead Duracell batteries in it…”
Diabolical.
Farla_Broaden received a staggeringly miserable gift: ”£10 Budget - I got a pencil topper :(.”
I’ll be honest, I didn’t know you could buy single pencil toppers. Talk about useless tat...
I_Honestly_Dont_Mind found themselves in a strange Secret Santa situation: “I was supposed to get a Cliff Richard calendar but the person forgot to bring it in with him so I never actually got it.
“I don’t know if I was annoyed or happy that I didn’t receive it. His excuse was he heard that I love Cliff Richard, I don’t. I don’t think I have ever spoke about him in my life.”
My gran would have loved that tbh.
Looking for inspiration?
If you want to be a little more thoughtful and imaginative than the people mentioned in this thread, you may want to avoid some specific gifts.
New research by online retailer Northerner, uncovered which Secret Santa gifts we truly hate to receive and, uh, they’re all really common:
Socks
Shower gel
Beers
Mugs
Stationary
Key ring
Penis shaped chocolates
Cigarettes
Grow your own boy/girlfriend
Joke book
‘Sexy’ calendar
Lottery ticket
Drinking games
Fizzy drinks
DVDs
Tea/ coffee
Photo frame
Scarf
Tacky homeware
Vouchers
Godspeed this festive season!