A vagina spa is coming to the UK, here to pluck, buff and inject your (perfectly normal) nether regions into something other worldly.
The VSPOT Medi Spa, which opened in New York two years ago, is set to expand across the US and open a London branch before the end of the year, founder Cindy Barshop told Refinery 29. If you thought your private parts were exempt from unrealistic beauty standards, you thought wrong.
We have a lot of questions about the leg-crossing treatments on offer – and so do gynaecologists. Here are just three that we’ll be saying thanks but no thanks to.
Vaginal Steaming
We thought we’d seen the back of vaginal steaming after Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop recommended it – and was subsequently mocked by gynaecologists on both sides of the pond.
But the ‘V-Steam’ treatment – which involves lying on a bed while “steam infused with therapeutic herbs is targeted toward your nether regions” – is still available at the spa for $125 (£102).
Dr Vanessa Mackay, spokesperson for Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (RCOG), does not recommend the treatment, saying it’s a myth that the vagina needs extensive cleaning – it is designed to clean itself.
“The vagina contains good bacteria, which are there to protect it. If these bacteria are disturbed it can lead to infection, such as bacterial vaginosis or thrush, and inflammation,” she tells HuffPost UK.
“Steaming the vagina could affect this healthy balance of bacteria and pH levels and cause irritation, infection (such as bacterial vaginosis or thrush) and inflammation. It could also burn the delicate skin around the vagina (the vulva).”
To stay feeling fresh, all you need is a quick wash around the vulva (not internally) each day with water and an un-perfumed soap, Dr Mackay adds.
The 24K Gold Vajacial
Aka the vagina facial. Though so wrong, because while this treatment puns on the word vagina, it is actually a treatment for your vulva.
It involves having wax infused with 24K gold smeared over your pubes, which – to our ears – sounds bizarrely heavy. The wax is whipped off and your bikini area blasted with LED lights, designed to “fight ingrown hairs and smooth out the skin tone”.
The spa, which hasn’t listed the treatment price on its site, claims “gold is a natural anti-inflammatory agent which also helps brighten the skin”. Because everyone wants a glowing vulva after all.
The O-Shot
The O-Shot involves having your own blood platelets injected into your vaginal tissue, which supposedly “stimulates vaginal and clitoral rejuvenation” – apparently leading to better orgasms. Again, no price is listed, but you may want to avoid anyway.
Dr Naomi Crouch, another RCOG spokesperson, says there is “no proven evidence or research studies to suggest that injecting a woman’s blood into her clitoris would improve her chances of having an orgasm”.
“Difficulty having an orgasm can be caused by a number of physical or psychological issues including not being stimulated sufficiently, worrying about sexual performance, mood disorders such as depression, problems with physical health, a lack of knowledge or fear of sex, a previous traumatic sexual experience, problems in the relationship or the menopause,” she tells HuffPost.
If you’re unable to have an orgasm, you should see your GP or go to a genitourinary medicine (GUM) clinic, she says. “They will be able to check for any physical reasons that may be causing the problem, and may refer the woman for psychosexual counselling if there are no obvious physical issues.”
[Read More: What Is The Orgasm Gender Gap?]