I never, when I think about the above proverb, fail to remember the little story about the lady who used to regularly visit the chemist to buy Epsom salts (which, to those of you who may not know, is usually used as a laxative).
After this had been carrying on for some time the pharmacist, out of curiosity, one day asked her whether she had been having chronic problems with her digestion.
"Oh no," she replied, "I am not buying the Epsom salts for myself.
I am in love with this particular man but he does not love me back in the same way, so I am giving him the Epsom salts in his coffee whenever he visits me."
"Why?" the pharmacist asked, "does he then, have problems with his digestion?"
"No, I don't think so," she replied, "but I am not giving him the Epsom salts for his digestion."
"But why do you give it to him then?" the pharmacist asked.
To which she replied: "Because I have heard that Epsom's makes the heart grow fonder!"
She had the story by the tail, but in fact she was not too far off the mark, because our proverb is really one born out of that wondrous thing we call love.
Of course it relates to the fact that when a loved one is far away from us, usually we miss them and wish they were back with us, and usually, when they return, we spoil them a bit until we get used to having them around again.
This, of course, does not always hold true, and there are those who will substitute our proverb with another: 'When the cat's away, the mouse will play.'
But, even if our love is not very strong, usually absence will make the heart grow fonder.
Now, for the gullible amongst us, let me just say that, if we believe that our loved one's ardor has cooled off a bit, it is not always a solution to pack your bags and go far away.
Like with anything else, if you overdo it, it may have the exact opposite effect of what you may want: it will make the heart grow fonder, but of someone else.
When you believe that in organisational life, everybody will miss you because you are such a great person, and accept a promotion to some godforsaken place, do not bank on the truth of a proverb that was really made for lovers.
So we agree that this is not what we want.
"But what is the point of this whole story?" you may ask, "it may be entertaining, but I fail to see the point."
Fine, let me explain it in organisational terms.
John Benn is a manager in a large corporation who works at head office, managing a section of the sales and marketing function.
He is a hard working person who enjoys his work and does, of course, want to get ahead and make it to the top of the organizational tree.
One Saturday afternoon John's daughter, Gloria, suddenly remembers that she needs some graph paper for her Monday math class, and calls on her father for assistance.
There is not a worthwhile game on TV and so John gets into his car and goes to his office to fetch some graph paper, of which he has a supply in his desk drawer.
As he sits behind his desk fumbling for the keys to his desk, he hears a noise.
He looks up to see the sales and marketing director standing in the door.
"Well John," the Boss says, "and what are you doing here on a Saturday afternoon?"
John thinks fast.
He knows that it would not go down well to admit to the Boss that he only came in to fetch some graph paper.
"Hi, Boss," he replies, "I thought I would just come in to check on the figures I need to present at the management meeting on Monday morning."
"I see," says the Boss, "well, don't use up your whole weekend now! See you Monday!"
And off the Boss goes.
John watches him drive off the premises and then follows suit.
On Monday morning, after John had made his presentation and left the meeting, the sales and marketing director looks at his colleagues and says:
"Hard working chap, that John. I came in on Saturday afternoon and found him hard at work on these figures."
"Great stuff," the Big Boss replies, "We need more people like him around. We should reward people like him in the organisation."
"Now that you mention it - we do have a vacancy for a branch manager at Puff Adder," the sales director replies, "perhaps we should consider someone like John for the job."
"Good idea," the Big Boss says.
So, before long - and purely thanks to his daughter - Puff Adder has a new branch manager by the name of John Benn.
But Puff Adder is only a one puff adder town, some five hundred miles away from head office.
While John works very hard to try and improve on his predecessor's record, and has to spend long hours and weekends doing it, nobody notices this, except maybe his branch office staff, his wife, his daughter, and the puff adders.
Nobody of consequence - to his career, that is.
Meanwhile, back at the head office ranch, the sales director looks at the results of all the branches and adds them up and looks at the total and thinks to himself: 'well, we are doing okay'.
He does not even notice the name of the Puff Adder branch, far less think of John Benn.
And the chances of John Benn doing such a great job that he gets promoted back to head office, and eventually reaches the top of the tree?
Very slight.
Because he is doing such a good job, and because nobody else in the organisation even wants to come near Puff Adder, John is left to sit out the rest of his years at Puff Adder - unless he decides to resign of course.
So, when you believe that in organisational life, everybody will miss you because you are such a great person, and accept a promotion to some godforsaken place, do not bank on the truth of a proverb that was really made for lovers.
In the organisational sense, our proverb of "Absence makes the Heart grow Fonder" is designed to be read as: "Out of Sight, Out of Mind."