The Most Disappointing Films of 2013

There were plenty of bombs, turkeys and over-rated smashes which either left me cross or emulating an indifferent Frenchman winning first prize in a 'So What?' charades contest.
|

So that was 2013, a year when men of Iron and Steel dominated the box office; when a despicable sequel left millions giggling the world over, and when Sandra Bullock added gravitas to Gravity. All of which was moving, fun, dramatic and great value for money.

However, there were plenty of bombs, turkeys and over-rated smashes which either left me cross or emulating an indifferent Frenchman winning first prize in a 'So What?' charades contest.

Here's my pick of the most disappointing films of the year in bite-size Twitter-length reviews.

Movie 43: The most depressing all-star, unfunny embarrassment of an alleged comedy to ooze from Hollywood's cinematic sewer in years.

Pain and Gain: All pain, no gain. A cesspit of an alleged black comedy. In the 1990s Michael Bay made semi-decent epics. What went wrong?

Olympus Has Fallen: Generic bad guys storm the White House. Gerard Butler fights back. Brain cells and bad guys die (hard).

The Counsellor: Ridley Scott's good looking car crash of a thriller boasted a great cast, including Michael Fassbender. Alas, that script!

Riddick: The gruff alpha male convict plays mind games with two crews of bounty hunters as beasts run wild. Sexist, chronic and ridiculous.

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire. A bum-numbing damp squib. Slow, leaden, depressing. Only Jennifer Lawrence made it worth a look.

After Earth: Will Smith lets son Jaden carry a pricey sci-fi epic. Like asking a kite-flier to land a 747. After Eights a better option.

The World's End: Boasted a delicious first act, superb Simon Pegg turn, and top soundtrack. Alas, a loo fight later, things fell apart.

The Wolverine: Hugh Jackman excelled, but the humdrum Japan-based saga wasn't up to much. And yet another boss monster face-off. Yawn.

The Lone Ranger: Overlong yes, but a great third act almost made up for the plodding preamble and Johnny Depp's ramblings as Tonto.

Kick-Ass 2: Ropey special effects and annoying Union J cameo aside, this was an ok mix of Mean Girls and Watchmen. Chloe Moretz shone.

Oblivion: Stylish mix of Wall-E and Independence Day. Tom Cruise fine. Andrea Riseborough outstanding. An effective (derivative) team (up).

Cloud Atlas: Ambitious, dazzling curio featuring a wealth of stars, including Tom Hanks & Halle Berry. Cult, sprawling, but anti-climactic.

Ender's Game: Bold literary sci-fi adaptation frustratingly close to brilliant, but the finale was an annoying con.

The Purge: Stylish low-budget siege thriller with a cop out ending.

You're Next: Hit-and-miss low-budget siege thriller.

Jack the Giant Killer: Huge production fee; top hi-fi; CG foe, not great but fun.

The best films of 2013 follows in a bit...