It’s no surprise stress and anxiety are often viewed in a negative light, but one psychologist suggests they’re not always bad for us – in fact, a little bit of both can help build mental resilience.
Lisa Damour, a private-practice psychologist and author, said many of us “now feel stressed about being stressed and anxious about being anxious” – but that we need to be more mindful that these experiences can sometimes be beneficial to our lives.
Speaking at the annual convention of the American Psychological Association, Damour explained how stress often occurs when people operate at the edge of their abilities – when they push themselves or are forced by circumstances to stretch beyond their familiar limits.
This can result from both bad and good events, she said. For instance, being fired is stressful, but so is bringing a baby home for the first time. She described how stress is a given in daily life and that moderate levels of stress “can have an inoculating function”, which can lead to “higher than average resilience” when we face fresh difficulties.
Likewise, anxiety gets an unnecessarily bad rap, she said: “Anxiety is an internal alarm system, likely handed down by evolution, that alerts us to threats both external, such as a driver swerving in a nearby lane, and internal, such as when we’ve procrastinated for too long and it’s time to get started on a task.”
Viewing anxiety as sometimes helpful or even protective allows people to make good use of it, suggests Damour. For example, she often tells the teenagers she works with in her practice to pay attention if they start to feel anxious at a party because their nerves may be alerting them to a problem.
When To Seek Help
Stress can become unhealthy if it is chronic (allowing for no possibility of recovery) or traumatic (psychologically catastrophic). It causes harm when it exceeds any level that a person can reasonably absorb or use to build psychological strength, Damour said.
“Likewise, anxiety becomes unhealthy when its alarm makes no sense,” she continued. “Sometimes, people feel routinely anxious for no reason at all. At other times, the alarm is totally out of proportion to the threat, such as when a student has a panic attack over a minor quiz.”
Unfortunately, by the time someone reaches out to a professional for help, stress and anxiety have usually built to unhealthy levels, said Damour, adding that untreated stress and anxiety can contribute to a host of additional psychological and medical symptoms.
Damour pointed to workbooks that can help people evaluate and challenge their own irrational thoughts, but she advised anyone feeling overwhelmed by stress or anxiety to seek help from a trained professional to learn management strategies.
Useful websites and helplines:
- Mind, open Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm on 0300 123 3393
- Samaritans offers a listening service which is open 24 hours a day, on 116 123 (UK and ROI - this number is FREE to call and will not appear on your phone bill.)
- The Mix is a free support service for people under 25. Call 0808 808 4994 or email: help@themix.org.uk
- Rethink Mental Illness offers practical help through its advice line which can be reached on 0300 5000 927 (open Monday to Friday 10am-4pm). More info can be found on www.rethink.org.