'The Apprentice' 2018: These Parodies Of The Contestants' Introductory One-Liners Have Us Howling

"I'll be honest, I don't eat sleep, and breathe business but I do eat, sleep and breathe."
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The contestants appearing on this year’s series of ‘The Apprentice’ have now been announced, which can mean only one thing: we’ve been treated to a plethora of cringey introductory quotes.

Among the new one-liners are comparisons to the Duracell bunny, ‘The Wolf Of Wall Street’ and a caffeinated Willy Wonka, while phrases like “I’m a serious mumpreneur”, “I ain’t no Vanilla Camilla” and “call me ‘Google’, it’s my middle name” have all been thrown around as the newbies try to make a strong first impression.

And despite these introductions being among the most toe-curling in 13 years of ‘The Apprentice’, that hasn’t stopped fans of the show on Twitter photoshopping the contestants’ bios to make their introductions even more embarrassing. 

Here’s a round-up of some of our favourites, starting with the most believable slowly leading into the more surreal offerings... 

And, of course, then the brands chimed in...

Yeah, we’re not convinced about that last one, in all honesty... 

Lord Sugar and his advisors, Claude Littner and Karren Brady, will be back for a brand new series of ‘The Apprentice’ next week, with a special challenge that takes the 16 newcomers overseas.

Find out more about the new crop of contestants here.