Few diets have been met with such controversy as Atkins - an innocent mention of which is likely to turn everyone into a would-be nutritionist. "What about wholegrains? You can't eat fruit!"
But I was intrigued. How could something endorsed by age-defying Jennifer Aniston, or credited for the loss of Kim Kardashian's baby weight, be so wrong?
Even Kelly Brook was having a go!
So to counterbalance Christmas indulgence, and in the spirit of trying almost anything once, I spent a week on Atkins. Here's what I learned:
Some food you can eat on Atkins
1. People will give you endless stick for it.
Mostly they'll tell you how 'terrible' it is to cut out entire food groups, or remind you of that time Dr Atkins fell over and died.
If they're really mean they'll slowly eat bread in front of you.
2. You'll be shocked at how fast you lose weight.
I lost four pounds in the first day, son! Whaaaat? Who does that? No one does that.
Except I did that yo, on Atkins.
3. But the first few pounds will mostly be water.
Oh.
Some food I couldn't eat on Atkins
4. Seeing other people eat sugar will make you very angry.
Apparently it's 'not socially acceptable' to knock food out of people's hands. Someone might have used the word 'assault' at one stage.
5. It's less restrictive than people think.
Click here to find out what foods you can eat.
It's also not impossible to follow Atkins it you're a vegetarian (or pescatarian) thanks to the low-carb count of most meat substitutes.
Some food I made while on Atkins
6. You'll get weirdly creative with food.
Atkins kind of forces you to cook (unless you eat the same Pret salad for breakfast, lunch, and dinner). You'll be amazed at how inventive you get in the kitchen.
7. You can eat things you never dreamed of finding on a 'diet plan'.
Cheese, steaks, burgers, fry ups. Now who's laughing, naysayers!
These saved my life
8. The Atkins bars and shakes are actual lifesavers.
When it's 4pm and your coworkers are passing round the biscuit tin, in your true moments of weakness, your darkest hour... these will revive you.
9. Your breath will smell terrible.
Ok so I lost 6lbs in a week but my boyfriend was this close to breaking up with me (thanks keto-breath).
***
To give the diet credit, it works. But, as it stands, I'm just not ready to lose the love affair with carbs long-term. Sorry Atkins.