I absolutely adore social media. I am an avid Tweeter and Instagramer with touches of Facebook and Pinterest on the side. What's better than connecting with your loved ones wherever they are in the world, posting a selfie when you feel good, and keeping up to date with world news, trends and your favourite celebrities and brands at the swipe of your finger. But like all good things in life, there is ultimately a downside. A cringey moment, an outrage, a twat, creep, negative Norris lurking online at any time. And let's not forget our emotions. These can cause massive problems when social media is involved; the cry for help tweet, the rant about the queue in the post office, the LOOK AT ME I'M FINE WITHOUT YOU PATRICK status, we've all been there. Haven't we? So here is a little roundup of some of my favourite #Awkward social media moments.
The accidental Follow
I hate this one, and I never say hate. Your heart races (well mine does) when you only mean to look at who he's following on Instagram just incase it's wall to wall supermodels and, you did it - the accidental follow. It's like no pain on earth. He knows you looked him up and then you bloody followed him, by mistake - SURE. The damage to your SM ego cannot be unfollowed quite so quickly.
The silent fuck you - aka: favourite
Come on, let's be honest - it's a slap in your SM face. Maybe she's an it girl you met socially, or an editor who 'liked' a piece you wrote, but the sad fact is when you tweet this chick, reaching out publicly to engage and you get a 'favourite' she's basically saying unless you're BFF's with Alexa Chung, you, can't sit, with, us. Even online. Try and accept it and tweet a friend, they truly love you.
LinkedIn Romeos
When did this shit happen? I have always avoided LinkedIn for the simple reason that I am creative and didn't go to University; therefore I look like an intellectual div in comparison to the overachieving pillars of the career community 'connecting' on here. It seems however, they may not be so great in the dating department as I've had number of 'Kevins', contact me for non-work related reasons. Just stop it, and look for someone with a job like yours, maybe you'll get along, ew. *The names have been changed to protect the innocent.
'Sad face' emoticon status post
Here's how not to make your day better if it's going wrong: confirm it to the world but simply posting a 'sad face' emoticon. Brilliant move. If I see one of these, I shudder.
The remember me - I'm still here, 'like'
The press of a finger tells the world you still care - no matter how much you try and deny it. A potential lover, old colleague you had a thing for but never sealed the deal, and all time favourite - the ex, all know you're still bothered. Ouch. Resist and swipe through the posers on Tinder to make yourself feel better.
The over-excited tweet, aka: I'm bored
I'VE GOT NOTHING GOING ON AND I AM ABSOLUTELY THRILLED ABOUT IT WOOOOOOOOOO! (tumbleweed passes.....)
The shit selfie
Selfies get a lot of bad press, which I think is unjust. If you feel good about yourself, outfit, where you are then why not share a nice image and show the world you're loving life. A shit selfie on the other hand: blurred, your washing in the background, awful lighting and absolutely nothing great about your photo? Save it for yourself and wait until a selfie gold moment strikes.
The crush that won't quit
Every, single, photo, tweet, status up date - LIKED. Plus comment. Get the memo. Please. It would have happened already.
When you can't really unfollow/unfriend someone
This one is tricky. You haven't seen them in years in judging by their posts, you have absolutely nothing in common now, but removing them will send a social ripple that may come back to bite you via your circle. Then there are the people you just added for numbers, your friend's partner you met once, and 'political' connections that are more trouble than they're worth to remove. Like a noisy neighbour or the office weirdo, just leave them be and carry on about your business.
Cringey conversations under photos
When you're an aspiring anything - actor, director, designer, you may well be working an as dull as they come day job to survive, but online you're creating! Travelling! Living the dream! Until some dick you don't see anymore starts going on about 'the old days' and asking where you're working now under a photo post. Shit. Hollywood is ruptured and your wall looks messy.