Here's the perfect metaphor for the Conservative party's idea of tax justice:
An assembled army of moral indignados chase after an ant leaving a nest with a piece of unregistered leaf. Meanwhile, behind them, an ant eater arrives, hoovers up the entire ants nest with it's snout and then leaves the country. However, for days after, the media - in collusion with the ant eater politicians - rally against the evil of the ant's unregistered piece of leaf which deprives the society of the leafs benefits, describing the ant's actions as "morally wrong".
What a ridiculous example you're thinking. Exactly. Ridiculous is the only word to describe the Conservative government's attitude to the entire tax dodging continuum - ranging from humble avoidance to outright fraud.
What other conclusions can we draw from a week in which credible reports tell us how 32 trillion dollars lummoxes around in offshore tax havens. A sizeable chunk of which could and should belong to the UK treasury and yet the government instead reacts publicly by condemning "tradesmen" for their moral bankruptcy doing cash in hand work. This is like a peace activist watching someone detonate a nuclear bomb and then complaining how some bloke shot back aggressively with a catapult. Or if Pokémon cards were ever your thing it's like Charizard pressing assault charges against the plant character Weedle.
But surely the fine British media will call the conservatives out for this glaring case of class war craziness. Surely the Tories 'shitting on the little guy' this week couldn't be any more blatant. It could perhaps only be topped if Gulliver joined the conservatives, pinned a blue rosette to himself, went on his travels and then had a sudden attack of diarrhoea - laying waste to the Lilliputians. But no... Sadly for us the BBC amongst others "couldn't hit a barn door" as we say in football. I sat there watching BBC breakfast foaming at the mouth as they reported the story of the evil tax dodging "tradesman". The BBC were doing their favourite trick where they report a government press release like it's actual news. "Here it comes" I say to myself, "Susanna Reid's guna call em out on attacking the working classes and diverting public attention away from the fiscal tyranny of elite top-earning tax dodgers gutting the treasury". Sadly my fantasy didn't materialise as hoped. She begins her questioning:
"Well, of course, this will raise embarrassing questions for the government.....".
"Here it comes" I say to myself excitedly, nearing Marxist climax.
Finally she fires the marsh mallow bullet: ".....embarassing questions may be raised concerning conservative politicians' own tax free payments to tradesmen in the past..........."
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO SUSANNA!! THAT IS NOT THE POINT AT ALLLLLL!!!! Thus once more BBC Breakfast begs me to question: "could I force my own death by overdosing on my Shreddies?"
So after this recent episode our suspicions are again tweaked that the conservatives look out for rich folks' interests and screw the lower orders. As one prominent current Tory MP is reported to have said during a private event:
"What you must understand about the conservative party is we are essentially a coalition of privileged interests who seek to defend those interests".
And yet, there are still some that fail to understand this fact. I recently had a good laugh reading entries on one of those Conservative Futures websites. I noticed a young male contributor (clearly emotionally affected) who lamented how when he canvassed in the streets he was met with hostility and frequent misconceptions that he and his party represented the rich. He concluded with this line (which I like to imagine he wrote whilst weeping): "I do truly believe we are all in this together...".
With their class allegiances in mind targeting "tradesman" is a nice bit of "dog-whistle" politics aimed at the UK's middle classes who have developed an instinctive suspicion (even hatred) towards manual workers over the past few decades. "Tradesman" is code for working class labourers who obviously can't be trusted. They're obviously lazy, feckless, rude rogue traders who regrettably have to be encountered when the cream carpet needs changing after an unruly dinner party.
Within Britain's current bleakly unequal political economy this circus is the equivalent of a cheesy Batman episode from the early 70s; the villain screams: "LOOK BEHIND YOU BATMAN!!!" Meanwhile, the villain runs off and gets away scot-free, or, in this instance, tax free, with the added gratitude of his rich political supporters who are shielded from the rightful scrutiny their insurmountably greater tax robbery deserves. The Conservative party's incessant need to divert, scare, distract and mislead the public tells you all you need to know about their politics and who they really represent.