Oh. My. God. Oh. My. God. Oh. My. God.
If you’ve seen the ‘Bodyguard’ finale, that is guaranteed to be your internal (or external, depending on the company you’re in) monologue right now.
And if you haven’t watched it yet, then get the hell out of here, as we are about to drop some massive spoilers. Seriously, massive.
Jed Mercurio’s hit drama came to an earth-shattering climax on Sunday night, and quite honestly, it’s a miracle the nation managed to survive it, given the shocking twists and turns it served up.
As you try to process what you’ve just seen (and begin properly grieving Julia Montague, now we know she’s not coming back, *sob*), we’re reliving the moments the finale had us not just on the edge of our seats, but with our hearts in our mouths and our stomach in knots...
The pre-titles recap
Obviously we’d seen all the action so far (we’ll confess we’ve even watched some episodes twice), but recapping what had happened over the last five episodes reminded us just how bloody incredible this show has been.
When DCI Sharma suspected Commander Sampson was involved
A police insider had long been indicated at, but when Sampson drew a blank when Sharma pointed out she’d previously investigated Luke Aitkens’ criminal empire, we were forced to look at her in a whole new light.
When David realised Aitkens had swapped the bullets for blanks in his gun
It had been one of the biggest questions of the series, but we finally got our answer, and a massive indication that Luke had a huge part to play in what had been going on.
When the police finally realised David’s connection to Andrew
David officially became the prime suspect for Julia’s murder when his colleagues cottoned on to the fact he had served with Andrew in Helmand. It was just rather unfortunate that at the time they realised this, he was in a very compromising condition indeed...
When David awoke to find he was strapped to a bomb
After being kidnapped and knocked unconscious by Aitkens and his heavies, David woke up strapped to a bomb, just like the one Nadiya had been wearing during the 1 October attack. And it that wasn’t tense enough, his thumb was taped to the detonator. The ultimate “FML”.
When David then realised he was a wanted man
Just when you thought things couldn’t possibly get any worse, he dropped himself right in the shit when he called the police to let them know of his whereabouts, not realising the severity of the situation he was in. When the penny finally dropped with him, we could literally feel his sheer panic through the screen.
When David pulled off the blanket to reveal the bomb
OMG, THIS REALLY ISN’T HELPING HIS CASE.
When the critical shot was authorised
With all those guns pointing at him, it was the first point where we genuinely thought he was a goner.
The race between the security service and police to get to David’s flat
Police had no idea security services were listening into their exchanges with David over radio, and after he told of where they could find the hidden blanks from his gun, there was a race against time to get to the flat. Luckily though, David was one step ahead of us all, and Longcross finally got his comeuppance thanks to David’s booby trap.
When Vicky ran towards David to save him from being shot
The ultimate declaration of love had us reaching for our tissues, as well as clutching our chests.
When David started trying to detonate the bomb
ASRIYEWOPRTJKJVDSGPOEFKSFOERYBDKJWEETOIERUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That’s pretty much the only way we can describe how we felt when his thumb came off the spacer, the stunt went on and the wires were cut.
The piercing sound of his breathing also did nothing to help out increasing blood pressure, with our heart literally pounding out of our chest.
When David did a bolt
Seriously, that man was like a ninja.
When Craddock was caught with Luke
Deepack and Louise’s suspicions about Sampson had pointed us in completely the wrong direction - it turns out the one we really should have been looking closer at was Craddock, who had been working with Luke.
When Luke admitted to killing Julia and David toyed with shooting him
Even when we heard the words that Luke had masterminded the St Matthew’s College bomb that killed the Home Secretary, we still had a vague hope she might still be alive. Alas, not.
When it was revealed Luke recruited Andy
With all the pieces of the puzzle finally coming into place, our heads were spinning with all the revelations. But even then, we knew it wasn’t just Luke and Craddock behind it all. Then came the biggest bombshell of all...
When Nadiya’s true colours were revealed
It’s no exaggeration to say audible gasps could be heard up and down the country as it transpired train bomber Nadiya was not the easily-manipulated woman we’d all be led to believe. In fact, that couldn’t have been further from the truth.
It turned out she was a Jihadi, and revealed herself as the bomb-maker. She had been conspiring with “non-believers” (aka Luke and his cronies) for money so she could build more devices, buy more guns and - in her words - “spread the words to her brothers and sisters, convincing the world that they had put a knife through the heart of the British government”.
The scene where her façade dropped and David realised just how much he’d underestimated her will undoubtedly go down as one of the TV moments of the year.
‘Bodyguard’ is available to watch in its entirety on BBC iPlayer.