Listen, we all love to laugh. But according to new relationships research from the University of Queensland, being funny isn’t necessarily the key to bagging you a second date.
A team of researchers tested heterosexual couples to find out if humour really is as attractive as we think it is.
They tested two predictions. Firstly, that humour is an attractive trait and secondly that men are more attracted to how women receive their humour, and women are more attracted to men who make them laugh.
Henry Wainright, lead author of the research paper, said the results were quite surprising.
They found that irrespective of sex, participants who laughed more at their partner or people who received more laughs didn’t rate their partner as more or less attractive.
“It’s interesting that this result opposes the commonly held belief that women are more attracted to funny men and that men are more attracted to women who find them funny,” Wainright told PhysOrg.
He continues: “In the past, it was thought that being attracted to funny individuals was useful because your children were more likely to inherit beneficial characteristics, like intelligence.
“However, our results suggest that trying too hard to be funny on a date might be more counterproductive than helpful – you should just be yourself.”
Gigi Engle, a sex and relationships psychotherapist, says we put too much stock in believing that humour is the thing that people are on the lookout for when dating.
“I do think that a shared sense of humour, that shared value, can be really helpful. But what I think is more important for us to have is a sense of emotional connection and emotional safety,” she says.
“Some people might attribute a shared sense of humour to a shared sense of emotional connectedness.”
She suggests that while it’s true that a shared sense of humour can mean you’re on the same page, misunderstanding each other’s sense of humour can also cause rifts in relationships.
“There’s a big difference between thinking your partner is funny, and being safe in the knowledge that your partner understands you,” she adds.
In short: look for emotional connection and laugh away to your heart’s content – or don’t. Just be yourself.