At any time of year, online food shop substitutions are the bane of the British public’s existence. But when you’ve ordered a huge food shop which is set to arrive right before Christmas, the last thing you want is for essential items – ya know, like sprouts – to be missing. Anxiety levels are going through the roof.
If the item is missing and you’ve got substitutions turned on, you’ll likely get a similar replacement that should tide you over. But it seems the food delivery people are either drunk or just up for some fun this year, because the substitutions are really tenuous.
Take for example this poor soul who received HP Sauce instead of cranberry sauce. Ah yes, we heard it goes well with gravy.
Rhodri (of #DuvetKnowItsChristmas fame) ordered some nutmeg to add a touch of festive flavouring to his dishes but instead received that very traditional seasonal spice: turmeric.
Another person wanted vegan paté and received pheasant paté which, for the record, certainly isn’t vegan.
We’re glad this person didn’t use their substituted item in their apple crumble.
When you want calamari and get... onion rings. Well we guess they’re both ring-shaped?
Ah yes, potatoes and crumpets, that perfect Christmas Day breakfast choice.
There’s also the issue of substitutions being generally smaller in size, which isn’t ideal when you’ve got the whole family coming over to feast on a... teeny tiny turkey crown.
Oh, and then there’s the rather large issue of allergies. So yeah, substituting that gluten-free Yule Log for an iced Christmas cake just isn’t going to work out.
Another person claimed they had 21 substitutions which is basically the whole online food shop.
As for Daniel, well he lost out completely. A tin of Quality Street swapped for a bath mat? That’s just cruel.