Stephen Pond/EMPICS Sport
If ITV didn't have Andy Townsend then viewers' ire would be vented solely at pseudo-intellectual Clarke Carlisle, whose emergence as one of the most calamitous commentators was re-emphasised during Tottenham's Europa League win over AEL Limassol on Thursday night.
"There are white rhinos around the world who would love to be goalkeepers - such a protected species."
His colleague Sam Matterface said nothing.