Free Time? As A Mother Of Five, That’s Laughable During Coronavirus

My husband works as a doctor, and I am needed in a very different but equally important way. It’s what I call ‘holding the fort', writes Tasnim Nazeer.
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After weeks of lockdown, gone are the days of manageable normality.
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As a mum of five, working from home, the thought of having ’free time’ whilst in lockdown is almost laughable. In fact, it’s definitely laughable. I’m laughing while crying and perhaps that’s multitasking.

I’ve seen so many articles about people using this time to re-arrange their furniture, colour code their books or organise the family photo albums. But the unprecedented nature of the virus has affected my household differently. It has left parents like me having to juggle many different hats whilst home-schooling the kids. 

We are just three weeks into the lockdown and I can’t count the number of times I have scrambled to catch a repeat of Joe Wicks’ PE workouts, ushering my kids into the living room to let off some steam and do jumping squats whilst checking emails and stirring the cooking with one hand.

If I have learnt anything these past three weeks, it’s this: thank god for Joe Wicks! 

As my husband is a doctor in the NHS and is needed during this critical time, I am needed in a very different but equally important way. It’s what I call ‘holding the fort’ at home, and trying to embrace the new norm that is life under Covid-19.

Gone are the days of manageable normality: kids in school, toddler in nursery, me on the laptop dishing out words (as I am now), minus the background score of little voices munching away on my version of Nadiya’s cupcakes. (Don’t read too much into this, they weren’t as good as Nadiya’s and I only made one batch.) 

“Living in a large family, I have learnt the importance of slowing down and establishing a routine which has eventually made things easier.”

Despite the fact that the lockdown may present certain people with more free time, this does not ring true for all sectors of society. Those with caring responsibilities, like myself, who are working from home, have many different tasks at hand, including looking after the needs of the kids both mentally, physically and spiritually. I am not trying to argue that being busy means you are more important, but we can’t deny that having free time is a privilege.

As a woman of colour, I understand some of the ways in which BAME groups are reportedly more likely to bear the brunt of Covid-19, for example the fact that they often live in extended families and are more vulnerable to getting the virus, giving these groups little time on their hands to enjoy the sense of ‘free time’.  

Living in a large family, I have learnt the importance of slowing down and establishing a routine which has eventually made things easier. Every minute and hour is still full, but at least there is structure. The kids get dressed in the morning, have breakfast, log in to their home learning on their computers, and I am at the ready to assist them if they need help, whilst also ensuring that I send out a few pitches during the day as a freelance journalist. It took a while for everyone to adjust: for the kids to being at home, and for me getting used to them being there all the time. 

It is a real juggling act. I feel as though time has flown by without me sitting down to take stock, not only at home but how I feel about what’s happening around me. I do tend to watch the government’s daily updates on TV and keep abreast of the latest developments to inform my work but sometimes even this can be hard and affects me emotionally when I speak to victims or those who know people who have lost loved ones to the virus. 

If I did have more free time I would be able to finish off the things I have been meaning to do for so long. In other words, finish off the episode of Stranger Things on Netflix that everyone seems to have watched without me. In all seriousness, I would be able to complete a book that I haven’t even started writing yet, arrange the house better than Marie Kondo (my wishful thinking), and complete at least one long workout uninterrupted without being beckoned by someone who can’t find their socks!

But I am still grateful for many things, including my garden. It’s become a space for us to get out of the house, without having passers-by counting the number of heads trailing behind me. I’m also grateful to live with my family, and that for now we are safe and healthy. Did I say I’m grateful for Joe Wicks?

I’ve realised it’s important to value the time we do have, however fast it may seem to pass. This way, we can enjoy the brighter moments in life. Connecting with family, friends and loved ones, and being there for one another during perhaps the most unusual and testing times of our lives.