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To the uninitiated, Cruising With Jane McDonald might sound like little more than a cute little travel show, but if you know anything about (a) cruising or (b) Jane McDonald, you’ll know that it is a guaranteed recipe for ridiculousness on the high seas.
Since its launch in 2017, the Channel 5 show has served up a multitude of camp moments, as each week our Jane boards a luxury ship and explores some hidden gems among the destinations she travels to, even winning a Bafta in the process.
In commemoration of Jane’s 60th birthday, we’re counting up the reasons why her iconic cruising show holds such a special place in our hearts.
1. First off, there is ALWAYS a drink involved
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2. And plenty (and we mean PLENTY) of innuendo
3. It doesn’t matter what she’s doing or where she’s doing it, it’s always “fabulous”
4. She might be a seasoned cruiser, but Jane still gets very excited when she boards the ship and gets to see her cabin for the first time
5. She sees underfloor heating as the height of luxury
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6. And don’t even get her started on small details like a nice net curtain or a washing line in the bathroom
7. But NOTHING beats a big comfy bed, which she is always keen to road test
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8. In fact, you’ll never see her happier than when she finds out the pillows are goose down
9. The ship leaving the port is always celebrated with – you guessed it – a cheeky drink
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10. Then follows a guided tour of the ship with Jane’s trusty selfie stick
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11. It’s not long before she’s made friends with all the passengers and is enjoying a drink with them at the bar
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12. As the trip unfolds, you will never see Jane in the same outfit twice, and you’ll wonder how the hell she fits it all in her case
13. Whenever she disembarks the ship, she gets a bit jaunty as she minces off on an exploration
14. Her encounters with the locals are always delightful
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15. Her excursions are always full of culture and history
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16. And she never misses an opportunity to ingratiate herself into her new surroundings
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17. Even if that means getting to grips with some four-legged friends
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18. She’s never afraid to make a total fool of herself
19. And loves nothing more than raiding the dressing up box
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20. While you might not think of our Jane as much of a daredevil, she’s actually game for any stunt that’s thrown at her
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21. And whenever there’s some description of heights involved, you can expect her to proclaim herself “the queen of the world”
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22. At the end of a long day, she’ll be seen kicking back with a bevvie
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23. You’ll regularly be able to spot Jane’s best friend and hairdresser Sue in the back of various shots, and quite frankly, she doesn’t get half the amount of airtime she deserves
24. While out and about, she always takes the chance to remind everyone of her vocal prowess
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25. Even in the most unlikely of places (apparently caves have “good acoustics”)
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26. Did someone mention a drink?
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27. Jane greatly enjoys checking out the local sights, if you catch our drift
28. And it’s never long before she’s made some gentlemen friends
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29. Time for another tipple
30. Jane likes to mix her excursions up with trips to local food factories or kitchens, which is where she comes over all Delia Smith
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31. She really does relish in sampling every cuisine
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32. And indeed drinks
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33. Whenever she visits somewhere famous for its dancing, she’s always quick to demonstrate why she’d be perfect on Strictly
34. There’s a game to be played on how many times she mentions her beloved home town of Wakey
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35. Or wistful looks out across the ocean
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36. Or “fabulous” sunsets
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37. And when ever she’s seen or experienced something that she says she’d “never do in a million years at home”, it’s quickly followed by:
38. And at least once every episode, she will also proclaim (usually with a drink in her hand):
39. When Jane gets to meet the captain, there’s plenty of flirting, which is usually followed by an invitation to join the top table at dinner
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40. On the days at sea, Jane makes a beeline for ship’s spa
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41. Followed by the bar, obvs
42. And of course, every episode finishes with a specially recorded song to sum up her latest holiday
43. Complete with ridiculous accompanying video
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