Yesterday the UK's Chief Medical Officer Dame Sally Davis issued her annual report; most of which was about her fear of fat people and how horrible it is shops are making mannequins in a size 16!
Her concern is that nearly two thirds of adults and a third of children are overweight or obese and she wants something done about it.
Dame Sally wants a tax on sugar to be the solution, tax those stuffing their fat faces with cakes and we will no longer be subjected to VT's showing the midriffs of overweight people waddling up and down the high street on the evening news.
But Tam Fry, of the National Obesity Forum (yes, it's a real thing), said he would have liked Dame Sally to take a tougher approach to sugar. "The report lets the food and beverage industries off the hook. How distressing."
How distressing indeed - to think a government ploy to suck even more pennies from us to slice off some national debt behind a healthy vale of BS could actually work.
"I am increasingly concerned that society may be normalising being overweight." Dame Sally told BBC News. I want to address her fears and put her thin brain to rest - obesity isn't becoming normalised. Fat people are still the root of all evil and the great misinformed love to declare their hatred for us - the comments on this post will prove just that.
Walk down any high street and your body is scrutinised, if you're a fat person on public transport you're likely to have a seat either side of you because who wants to sit next to a fat person? Suicide rates amongst those who suffer with eating disorders are higher than any other mental health problem and the media love having a go at chubby folk - we're easy, round targets. Where is this normalisation Sally speaks of?
Every year the government and its cohorts like to invent new ways of curing obesity - last year it was the pasty tax, the year before that the fizzy pop tax and this year we're covering all bases with sugar - full stop.
Now before you get over excited and start posting comments about the price of carrots and your beloved NHS, curb your enthusiasm. The Tories will kill the NHS before the fatso's will.
The problem here is our approach to obesity not the obese. We think that fat people are overweight because they are greedy and out of control. Sometimes people are fat because they have an addiction to food. Unlike an addiction to alcohol or drugs it comes with little public understanding. I'm not here to enlighten you.
But sometimes people are just fat and happy - which is the sort of people Sally is most frightened of; those of us that stick two chubby fingers up to a world obsessed with the scrutiny of women's bodies, diets that promote starvation techniques and the idea that thinness is somehow related to successfulness. Obesity isn't curable if you don't want curing.
The National Obesity Forum think that obesity levels could be reduced with better food education - affirming the idea that fat people have no idea what's in food, we're mindlessly eating our way through packets of biscuits and have no idea what quinoa is.
As an artist I want to tackle the masses perception of fat people and what we are responsible for and address why my waistline has nothing to do with someone of the Most Nobel Order.
Dame Sally, this is an invitation to come to Hamburger Queen - my beauty pageant and talent show for fat people. We actively normalize the image of obesity because people are fat and it has nothing to do with the level of taxation on donuts. But this normalisation you and your mates are panicking about doesn't exist - your cheap scare tactics are boring. Come along to Hamburger Queen, I dare you. Who knows, you might meet a real life fat person who doesn't want saving.
Hamburger Queen runs from 4th - 24th April in London and Brighton