'Leave Me Out Of It', Jesus Tells David Cameron

'Leave Me Out Of It', Jesus Tells David Cameron
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Christ has reacted angrily to claims by David Cameron that "Jesus invented the Big Society 2,000 year ago - I'm just continuing God's work".

"It's complete nonsense," the Son of God told HuffPost UK Comedy. "I didn't invent the Big Society. I invented socialism."

"The way Cameron uses me to back up his Tory policies is shameless," he added.

"It was bad enough when Boris Johnson compared his faith to Magic FM's patchy reception in the Chilterns, without Cameron jumping in with more ludicrous comparisons.

"I just wish he'd leave me out of it and stop taking my name in vain."

In the same speech, Cameron also offered his services to the Church, saying: “If there are things that are stopping you from doing more, think of me as a giant Dyno-Rod." The makers of Dyno-Rod, however, have said that they are happy with the comparison, as they are owned by British Gas.

ON OTHER PAGES:

  • Who Said It: David Cameron Or Jesus Christ?
  • QUIZ: Are You A Disciple Or A Cabinet Member?
  • The 10 Least Jesus-Like Things The Tories Have Ever Done
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