Episode 1 of the Alternative Divorce Radio Show
Nearly everyone knows someone who has direct experience of divorce and family breakup.
As Relationship DJ Andrew says in the podcast, we need to avoid getting sucked into an adversarial divorce, and one way to do that is to head away from adversarial lawyers, and towards getting advice from a wider range of experts in the fields of wellbeing, coaching and finance.
And this is not just a UK issue - the same is true for anyone going through family breakup in the United States.
Authentic Voices
The voice of single mother Sarah talks about how tough it is in the beginning to co-parent. How you need to just get through it, to treat yourself sometimes - give yourself rewards - for managing that particular 'change-over' of the kids really well.
I remember myself in the early days, never staying home when the kids were with their dad. I would rush off to spend time with family and friends, going to parties - and although I still resented being separated from my children, I had to confess that there really was an up-side as well! I certainly knew that it would be a disaster if I just stayed home alone feeling that loss and then that resentment would be piled onto my children's father - which is what I wanted to avoid happening.
I asked Sarah after the interview if she had ever spoken about her experiences of being in the early stages of co-parenting with other women. She said "No". I believe it is vital that we share our stories - even the uncomfortable truths such as "I wish I'd never got married" - the things we don't want to admit to ourselves let alone other people. I am grateful to Sarah for speaking her truth, and giving such sound advice to other parents going through the same life shift.
Why a podcast can work better than an article to educate others
As the Alternative Divorce Guide, I felt constrained by the need to keep web articles not too threatening (ie. not always telling the full story) as when you are dealing with people's personal lives, divorce scenarios and insecurities over parenting styles, it's important not too be too blunt or people shut down and run the other way!
I created the radio show podcast to get a wider message out there, more punchy, more real - but because it is using only sound it somehow feels less 'in your face' as a video or even a written article can be.
I aim to de-mystify divorce and also to make it less of a taboo subject. We all need to know how to help each other during difficult times, and we all need to understand why giving a friend the phone number of an adversarial divorce lawyer, is really not helping them at all.....
If you have questions you would like me to put to our "Alternative Divorce Relationship DJ" then feel free to leave your comments below.....
Suzy Miller