Planning a wedding is a long and tricky process – not least because you’re constricted by budgets. Couples often choose to split guests into two camps: days guests and evening guests, with the latter turning up around 7pm for the big party.
For some couples, this is the only way to invite everyone they want to their wedding. For others, it’s less about money and more about a personal choice to keep their ceremony intimate.
So if you’ve only received an invite to the evening do, don’t fret. There’s lots to enjoy about arriving just in time for the fun. Here’s how.
Don’t spend all day sitting in your Travelodge. Okay, so you’ve not been invited to the daytime activities, but this doesn’t mean sitting about in your hotel all day. Make plans – explore, see the local area and go to the pub. Or, travel later in the day and save money by getting off-peak fares.
Do find out who else is an evening guest. Some people might feel a little humbled (or even embarrassed) they didn’t make the full day cut. Don’t be – find out who else is going later on and organise a pre-wedding get together with drinks or dinner. It means you won’t be walking into a room of people who’ve been celebrating all afternoon without warming up, too.
Don’t feel like a second class guest. Evening guests shouldn’t resent the invitation. (And if you do? Politely decline – you don’t have to attend!) This isn’t personal, it’s more likely about money, space, or other factors so dull you should be glad you don’t know about them. On the plus side, you don’t have to suffer hours of speeches, or your hangover kicking in before 7pm. Embrace your evening status.
Do say hello to the happy couple when you arrive. It can be a little awkward if you turn up at 7pm and feel like you’re interrupting a party that has been going on for hours. Don’t be tempted to hide yourself away in the background – make sure you greet (and congratulate) the bride and groom before you get on the dance floor. They’ll be pleased to see you, too!
Don’t presume you will be fed. The evening food situation is a great peril of weddings: some couples will lay on a spread, while others will provide a (delicious) sausage roll and hope you ate enough at lunchtime. Presume the latter and eat something before you go – or have a decent lunch at the very least. That way, if the pastry isn’t going to tide you over, you’re not going to be forced into a mission to find the nearest kebab shop.
“Evening guests bring the thing that other guests can't: fresh energy."”
Do feel more liberated with the dress code. Going in the evening gives you a hall pass to be more liberal with what you wear – especially if the day guests have had to sit in a freezing cold church, or stand outside in the cold for photos. But for you, an evening guest, that backless dress you’ve had waiting in your wardrobe for the perfect occasion is spot on.
[Read More: Your ultimate wedding guide – what to wear, who to invite, and how to make it stress-free]
Don’t complain about the cost. This applies to everyone who goes to a wedding, but particularly to evening guests. Some people might feel aggrieved at the cost of having to travel and stay overnight – only to get a couple of hours face time at the wedding itself. Yes, weddings can be expensive – but if you can’t afford it or just don’t want to pay, it’s fine to decline. The couple have also spent a lot of money and don’t want to hear from other guests that you moaned about it all evening.
Do bring energy with you. Evening attendees bring the thing that other guests can’t: fresh energy. The day guests will be half-cut, full of wedding reception food, and complaining about their uncomfortable shoes by the time you turn up. You’ll be fresh and ready to hit the dance floor.