After five months of bad hair days I decided to get my first hair cut.
I kept some of my hair thanks to scalp cooling during my chemotherapy sessions but not enough to ditch the hat just yet. I have hats in all colours and styles, one for every season and occasion. I also got a really expensive wig.
At first I liked the idea of always having a ready to go hair hanging on the side of the bed frame. In fact I thought I should have had one long time ago just for the morning school runs, as I wasted so much time washing and brushing my long hair only to get to my kid's school looking like the lead singer of 80's glam metal band.
Despite the obvious benefits I haven't worn the wig much. Not only does the fact that it's made of human hair freak me out, it gave me bad headaches and the stress of my kids pulling it off at the worst possible moment just wasn't worth it.
My hair stylist is very understanding and knowledgable about hair loss and regrowth having a family member who went through cancer treatments.
"I'm sure she can work some magic" I said to myself while saving some celebrity hair style pictures on my phone hoping she could make me look like one of them. By the look on her face I could tell right away the celeb look is not going to work.
"The thing is there's not much to work with at the back" she said while showing me in the mirror. It's the first time I saw the back of my head. I look like the poor Elsa doll after my daughter played hairdresser with her. "Elsa had a bad hair day but I fixed it for her" she said proudly. Elsa's bad hair day is pretty much permanent now...
Well, now I know what people who sat behind me at the school carol service saw.
Out of respect for the church and fear of overheating I took off my hat during the service.
I usually feel quite self-conscious and cover my head even when opening the door for the postman, but between trying to locate my daughter in the choir and resisting the urge to run my hand through the thick long mane of the lady sitting in front of me, I could not bother.
I still cry when I see pictures of me with long hair. But unlike Elsa's hair my hair will keep on growing and one day one of the celebrity hairstyles might work out.