Let’s just get this out the way – it’s not you.
Things are really, really shit right now.
We’re trapped, and we’re angry. How can we possibly still be here, when we’ve had almost a year to find our way out?
Most of us, by now, have read and seen devastating first-hand accounts of what Covid-19 can do to our bodies. Many of us have experienced it with sick family and friends or even by getting sick ourselves. More than 80,000 people have died in the UK, and many others have been left with long-term symptoms.
Public polling continues to show overwhelming support for lockdown measures, and with good reason.
But that doesn’t mean that the sudden panic that your coffee might constitute a picnic, or that you’ve been sat a little too long on that bench, or about the encroaching sound of the breath of the person behind you in the queue for Asda, have become any less surreal.
It’s not that you’re handling this badly. Everything is awful. And it helps to say that out loud.
We’re, statistically, at the very worst point in the pandemic
Chief medical officer Chris Whitty made it clear on Monday – the UK is now at “the worst point of this epidemic”.
With 1,243 new Covid-19 deaths recorded on Tuesday, days after the nation set a record of 1,325 deaths recorded in 24 hours, the overall death toll now stands at more than 80,000.
We found out on Tuesday morning that excess deaths in the UK in 2020 had grown by the largest number year-on-year since 1940 in the midst of the second world war.
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The NHS is at risk of being overwhelmed, with more people in hospital than there were during the first wave of the virus, and every day tens of thousands of people – with a record of 75,912 on January 4 – test positive for Covid-19.
The approval of the Pfizer/BioNTech vaccine was hailed as a decisive turning point in our fight against Covid-19, and held up as a sure sign of a return to normalcy at some point in the not-so-distant future.
We even made all those funny little jokes (and by that I mean pretty much the same joke, over and over again) about William Shakespeare being second in line for the virus.
But from where we’re sitting now, with deaths at an all-time high, hospitals overflowing and the prospect of a seemingly endless lockdown, those days of optimism feel a long way off.
In a shock twist, it turns out that having hope, and then having that hope snatched away as the situation plummets to new depths, isn’t beneficial to our wellbeing as a whole.
“Having hope now almost feels dangerous because every time we get our spirits up we’re faced with something else that’s completely uncertain”
- Counsellor Rebecca Vivash
BACP-accredited counsellor Rebecca Vivash told HuffPost UK: “Hope boosts people. There’s so much that balances on hope.
“If we know that there’s a way out then we can deal with things a lot more easily, and that was the sense that started to come in at the end of last year.
“People were starting to make plans and it was like: ‘Yes, it’s 2021, it’s going to be OK, we’ll get through the first couple of months and then the vaccine will sort us out.’ That’s now just come crashing down.
“Having hope now almost feels dangerous because every time we get our spirits up we’re faced with something else that’s completely uncertain.
“Of course we’ve still got the vaccine, but with the new strain it’s almost proven to us that we can’t expect or rely on coming of this situation in a fixed period of time. We’re just back to feeling completely uncertain about our futures again.”
The government can’t stop U-turning
Amid all this uncertainty it’s just as well we have a government that has promoted a consistent, strategic approach to this virus. Three cheers for clear messaging!
This is a government that follows the science! Unless that science tells us back in September, six weeks before the full November lockdown, that we should lock down.
Unless that science tells us schools are unsafe to open while we’re planning to fully reopen amid an out-of-control mutant strain of the virus.
Unless that science tells us we need a fully functioning Test and Trace system while we’re spending billions of pounds on a system that didn’t even reach the bare minimum of contacts until the final weeks of 2020.
Unless that sci– actually, this has happened a lot.
Schools alone have faced government U-turn after government U-turn, with free school meals, exam grades and reopening plans all thrown into the air after it became clear the policy in place simply couldn’t work.
Local lockdowns, back-to-the-office drives and eviction bans have all seen similar U-turns. Let’s not even get into Christmas.
As integrative counsellor and psychotherapist Anthony Davis explains, the uncertainty surrounding our futures can be extremely detrimental to our overall wellbeing.
He said: “This third lockdown and the possibility of it extending to the end of February or beyond breeds a lot of uncertainty amongst the public. People are feeling a little lost, confused and unsure about what the new year will bring.
“People will have had plans that by this time the lockdowns might be over or there would be some light at the end of the tunnel, but people seem to be feeling pretty hopeless at the moment.
“There was a lot of ambiguity around socialising, particularly around Christmas and the new year – how it could increase the infection rates – and mixed messages from the government. I think there’s a lot of anger and confusion amongst the public and in terms of mental health people are feeling quite low.”
Dangerous conspiracy theories are flourishing
Despite it all, there are still people – many people, in fact – who are intent on downplaying the virus or, at the extremes, denying it exists at all.
From the overnight epidemiologists frantically sharing misleading graphs and half-read studies on social media to the maskless crowds yelling outside hospitals packed with dying patients, Covid and the democratic crisis thousands of miles away have allowed misinformation to flourish.
If it hadn’t already taken enough from us, the virus has also destroyed our ability to mumble something about tinfoil hats and then firmly ignore whatever flavour of nonsense is being pushed.
If we didn’t have enough to worry about, conspiracy theories are now actively harming us.
Dr Daniel Jolley, a senior psychology lecturer at the University of Northumbria, explained how online conspiracy theories about Covid-19 are actively undermining our efforts to control the virus.
He said: “We know that, in general, people who believe in conspiracy theories don’t act in a pro-social way. To give an example, there is a tangible group of people who believe that the Covid vaccines are unsafe, that it’s all a plotted scheme, and so won’t vaccinate.
“That is something that then affects us all. If lots of people aren’t vaccinated then it’s going to stop us from getting to the point where we’re lowering restrictions. They [the conspiracy theories] have a tangible impact on all of us.”
It’s still very cold, and very dark
Back in the spring of 2020 as the Covid crisis really started to unravel, it felt as though there was little to be hopeful about. No vaccine, limited understanding of the virus, and our very first lockdown.
But at least it was light, and growing increasingly warm. Even as everything closed around us, those of us able to avoid shielding could still get out every day for walks in actual daylight hours, and as things loosened slightly, maybe even sit out in the sun with one previously-unreachable member of another household.
But in the depths of January? Not even the best-insulated coats and freshly-bought thermals could make the prospect of more than a 15-minute walk around the block in the dark in any way appealing. And if you’re lucky enough to be working regular hours in a job you can do from home, it’s too dark to get outside by the time you clock off.
Even if, for some reason, you did want to brave the elements and maybe sit on a bench for a second longer than it takes to catch your breath during all that essential exercise, that’s now officially rule-breaking behaviour. Sorry. Get back to your sad little shuffle, please.
Let’s face it, the driving winds, horizontal rains and heavy snow seen in parts of the country could not have come at a more depressing, or less practical, time for most of us.
“Winter was inevitable,” you say? Sorry, but I’d like to speak to the manager. We’ve got enough on right now.
The light at the end of the tunnel feels very far away
The government have loved a hopeful little maxim during this crisis, even when we couldn’t have felt like there was less to look forward to.
“It’s always darkest before the dawn.” “There’s a light at the end of the tunnel.” “One last push.”
Is it just us, or has it been a weirdly long night? Just nine full months of night. Tunnel feels quite long too, if we’re being honest, and each time that speck of light appears it starts to feel further away.
At this point, it’s a relief they’ve not wheeled out the Keep Calm and Carry On posters we finally managed to suppress somewhere back in 2015.
It’s hard to criticise those in charge for trying to inspire some positivity – full blown unending doom doesn’t feel like the best strategy for addressing an exhausted, anxious nation – but it can be pretty galling to hear repeated messages of optimism as we’re gripped by what feels very much like chaos.
Practically, those pithy quotes probably aren’t the most useful way for us to be thinking about this crisis, either.
BACP-accredited counsellor Louise Tyler told HuffPost UK that a change in phrase to acknowledge the nightmare we’re all living through could be more helpful.
She said: “For me, it’s more helpful to look at this as a marathon, not a sprint, and that the last few miles are always the hardest.
“If you’re finding it really hard now, even though there is some hope, that’s normal because you’ve run out of adrenaline, you’ve run out of that surge capacity and you’re literally limping through these last few miles.
“My message would be that’s OK – don’t despair if that’s how you’re feeling. There’s light at the end of the tunnel but that doesn’t mean you’re going to be feeling absolutely fantastic, because that bit can be the hardest part.”
Covid-19 is more than a news story – it has changed every aspect of life in the UK. We are following how Britain is experiencing this crisis, the different stages of collective emotion, reaction and resilience. You can tell us how you are feeling, find further advice and resources here, and subscribe to The Brightside, our weekly feel-good newsletter.