And by 'footballer' we do of course mean 'soccer player'.
We are, after all, as British as John Oliver.
And we reckon we would have fared about as well as him in this quiz, in which GQ gives the comedy host names such as Danny Invincible and Dick Tickler and asks: are they real footballers' names - or just made up?
SEE ALSO: John Oliver's Epic Rant About FIFA