Holy. Crap.
Look at the size of those fangs.
And this isn't Australia, oh no. This is Jersey. Before you think we're saved by the stretch of Channel between here and there think again.
The tube web spider - segestria florentina - is on the mainland too.
Thankfully they're not fatal though their bite is rather painful and last for a couple of hours.
They spin a tubular web, as you may have guessed from the name, so are often found in nooks and crevices.
You have the good old shipping industry to blame for bringing them over here from their native home in the Mediterranean.
This is a particularly large specimen however...