I really envy Accountants.
Clever kids who do well at school, they understand maths, they study economics and business, they work hard and qualify as Accountants.
When they search for a new job they look up the 'Positions Available' under 'A' for Accountant.
At parties, when people ask what they do, it's a quick (although often conversation-ending) answer of:
'I'm an Accountant'.
I really envy accountants.
It kind of hit me today that I don't have a career. Or a profession. Or a job.
I did really well in school - I went to a small Catholic college in rural Australia. In my final year I got the top marks in the school - my photo was in the local paper.
I'd thought about studying Journalism, but my Head Teacher looked at me sternly and said:
'With those marks you should study Law.' She was right. I went to Melbourne University and studied Law for five years. Five fantastic years that I wouldn't trade for anything - I made friends that will be with me for life, and I had an amazing time.
I emerged with a Law degree. No first-class honors or anything special, but a Law degree.
In order to work as a Lawyer, you had to do a year of 'Articles' - effectively a year where you work for a law firm for practically no money. I did that. I did another year with that law firm where I read a lot of property contracts, wrote a lot of wills and realized that my future probably didn't lie with the law.
Since then, I've kind of lurched from one job to another.
Generally the jobs I've had all involve some sort of communication or writing, but when people ask me what I do I find it hard to come up with any sort of snappy answer.
I'm a writer who's not published. I'm a journalist that's not particularly interested in news. I'm a television presenter on YouTube.
Perhaps I need to redefine what "work" means for me. I used to think that success was measured by how big your office was, how flash was the car you drove, and how expensive the suits you wore.
These days as I sit in cafes ('working'), I eavesdrop on people in expensive suits having very serious conversations - performance appraisals; pitch development; strategy discussions. It makes me realize that not only is that a world that I no longer belong to, but it's a world that I have absolutely no interest in any more.
If only spending hours on Facebook was actually a career. If only watching endless YouTube clips could be considered a job. If only I was an Accountant.