If you’ve been thinking about booking a therapist appointment over the last few months, Google search data shows you’re not the only one. Between July and August, the number of people in the UK searching for the phrase “how to prepare for first therapy session” doubled.
Whether the mention of World Mental Health Day (10 October) has got you thinking about booking that first session, or therapy has been on your mind and you want to start it before the year ends, knowing how to prepare for that first ever session can make a huge difference.
HuffPost UK spoke with Dr Pablo Vandenabeele, Clinical Director for Mental Health at Bupa, who shared his 10 tips to make the most of your first therapy session...
How to prepare for your first therapy session
Define your goals
“People start therapy for a variety of reasons – and there are a variety of therapies available to work towards specific goals. Having an idea of what your goal is before requesting therapy can help you define what you want to get from your sessions, and what kind of therapist may help best.
“It’s also important to make sure that the therapy you’re accessing is backed by evidence to support you with the difficulties you’re experiencing. It may help to make contact with the therapist before committing to your first session, to ensure that the one you have chosen is appropriate for your needs.”
Ask yourself if you’re ready
“Deciding that you’d like to start talking therapy is a big step, and actually starting it is another. It’s important to question yourself on whether you feel ready to open up. After all, therapy sessions rely on some degree of openness. Sessions are likely to involve discussing elements of your life that are very personal, which may be difficult to talk about.
“It’s OK to take your time coming to the decision of starting therapy, or speaking about anything you don’t want to. Along with defining your goals, it can be useful to ask yourself which thoughts, feelings and behaviours you’d feel comfortable to explore.
“Furthermore, it’s also important to recognise in advance that embarking on therapy can be time-consuming and at times challenging. It’s advisable to ask yourself the question whether this is the right time in your life to commence this journey.”
Decide where you want to have your therapy
“Depending on where you seek therapy from, different therapists may prefer to have their sessions in certain environments, including one-on-one or with others. Your therapist may give you options to decide where you’d like your therapy to take place.
“Options can vary from face-to-face – either in a designated room at a practice or at the therapist’s home – by voice or video call, email, or even outside in nature (this is known as walk and talk therapy).
“Think about where you feel safest and how you usually best connect with others – this may help guide you to where you’d feel most comfortable opening up to a therapist.”
Consider bringing someone along with you
“It may be possible to bring a trusted friend or family member along with you to your session. If you feel that this could help to make your more comfortable, discuss this with your therapist beforehand.
“It may also be useful to ask someone you trust to sit in the waiting room as you have your session, so they can provide support to you before and afterwards.”
Listen to your therapist – but don’t worry if you don’t remember everything
“During your first session, you may be asked a lot of questions, and will almost certainly be given lots of information from your therapist, from their background, to their fees (if they’re a private therapist).
“It may feel quite overwhelming to take in all this information. Remember, you can always ask for clarification later in the session, or follow up with your therapist on future sessions.
“If you’re a more visual person, it may be worth asking your therapist if they’d be happy for you to make notes throughout your session. Similarly, if you learn by hearing things, it’s possible to ask your therapist if they’d be comfortable to record the session, so you can listen back in the future.”
Remember therapy is a two-way street
“Along with answering lots of questions, your first session is a chance to ask your therapist any questions you have about them, and their approach to work.
“This first meeting is a chance to cover the basics of why you’d like to start therapy, and discuss any worries or concerns you may have.”
Don’t expect huge changes
“During your first session, your therapist might refer to it as a consultation, assessment or taster. This means you shouldn’t expect to dive straight in.
“The first session is all about setting out your contract and what you want to achieve from therapy, with your therapist, over what time period. This session is also really important to start building your relationship and to share any boundaries.”
Don’t be worried if you become emotional – your therapist isn’t there to judge
“It’s completely normal to find your first therapy session overwhelming. Whether that means not remembering a lot of what was discussed, or finding that you spend more time getting emotional than you anticipated, remember, your therapist isn’t there to judge you.
“Booking your first therapy appointment takes courage. Feeling emotional when you get to it is a completely normal reaction.”
Make a plan on what to do after your first session
“Making a plan for after your first session – no matter how small – can give you a chance to reset and reflect before returning to your routine. This can be especially useful if you have your therapy session from home. Spending time in another room, away from where your therapy session took place can be useful.
“Think about what helps to make you feel relaxed and happy and arrange to have it on standby once your session ends. It could be:
- Listening to one of your favourite songs
- Doing some gentle stretches, like yoga
- Take a short walk outside
- Draw, paint, or do a puzzle
- Meet up with someone you know and trust
- Take your time and be gentle with yourself
“Your first therapy session may be the first time you’ve opened up about your thoughts and feelings for a while. Experiencing this may lead to a range of thoughts, ranging from feeling uncomfortable to physically exhausted.
“It’s OK to feel daunted by the road ahead. Building relationships and making progress with your therapist can take time. Try not to feel disheartened if it doesn’t feel like a lot has happened in your first session – it’s the first step of many that can go on to make a real difference in how you see yourself, others and the world.”
To help more people access regular mental health support, Bupa recently launched its digital health and wellbeing subscription service, Bupa Well+. It includes counselling sessions, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), remote personal lifestyle coaching and self-managed treatment programmes.
Help and support:
- Mind, open Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm on 0300 123 3393.
- Samaritans offers a listening service which is open 24 hours a day, on 116 123 (UK and ROI - this number is FREE to call and will not appear on your phone bill).
- CALM (the Campaign Against Living Miserably) offer a helpline open 5pm-midnight, 365 days a year, on 0800 58 58 58, and a webchat service.
- The Mix is a free support service for people under 25. Call 0808 808 4994 or email help@themix.org.uk
- Rethink Mental Illness offers practical help through its advice line which can be reached on 0808 801 0525 (Monday to Friday 10am-4pm). More info can be found on rethink.org.