National Coming Out Day takes place on October 11: it’s an opportunity to celebrate your queerness if you’re out, but importantly it’s also a day to recognise those people that have yet to come out.
They might be planning on coming out to a supportive group of friends or family, or fearful of coming out and facing the repercussions of hostile environments. (If that’s you, there’s plenty more information here on staying safe as a young LGBT+ person.)
Coming out can be unimaginable for LGBTQ+ people, young and old. (Some people, like Kenneth, take 90 years to come out. Congrats Kenneth!) But with the right amount of time and support, coming out is possible for all of us.
Scroll down for some of the most inspiring coming out videos we love from YouTube this National Coming Out Day.
Heart-warming and helpful coming out videos
Mistake Mafia
″The way I sound, the way I talk, you might think I’m not, but yes, I am,” says Mistake Mafia in his powerful coming out story, which soberingly includes the violence he’s experienced from bigots for being publicly out.
Mafia talks about how his mum, dad and friends are “cool” with his sexuality now he’s managed to come out, despite the small group of nasty people who tried to stand in his way. Nevertheless, he’s proudly open and dedicates this YouTube video to sharing his story.
Helena
″I had the biggest crush on Blake Lively, and I thought, ’oh this is normal, lots of girls get girl celebrity crushes, right? No? guess I’m the only one,′ says this young YouTuber.
“It took a long time to come out to myself... but when people say it gets better, it really does, it does get better. It will take some time, it’s a process, but it will get better.”
A lady called ‘M’
“Last year when I turned 40 I had the biggest shock of my life when I fell in love with a woman,” says this lady, who refers to herself as M. “I’m coming from a really traditional country in eastern Europe, now I live in the UK so luckily I’m in a better place.
“I never knew such a word as gay or lesbian... I’m still working on accepting who I am,” she says. And in advice for others, she says: “look for help, and be strong.”
Dylan
“I had dated girls because I thought that was what I was supposed to do,” says Dylan in his coming out video. “I didn’t think I could be a part of the gay community,” he carries on, “because there was no one like me.”
Having come out to all of his friends, Dlyan says he feels “blessed” to have a supportive network and says: “Overall, every single one of my coming out moments was extremely positive.
His advice? “Come out when you’re ready and when you’re safe... If you’re young and you don’t think you fit in, you do. You’re probably just trying to fit in in the wrong places.”
Coming out to Christian parents
“I’m gay, I always have been, always will be. I wasn’t okay with it for a long time, but a few years ago I decided I was okay with it, and I want to be myself and I’m not really going to be ashamed of who or what I am anymore, and I don’t believe it’s a sin, and that’s the reason I accepted it,” says Drew Carter.
Drew comes out to his mother in the video, who says she was praying for him as she suspected he might be gay, but hoped he’d “gotten through” his queerness. Drew explains that feelings aren’t possible to change, having done a “lot of research,” and says “you can’t change your sexuality. It’s impossible.”
Despite having a hard time coming to terms with her son’s sexuality, she says: “I love you, Andrew, with all my heart. That will never change.”
Twins coming out to dad
“We’ve taken some time off and we want to come back as authentic as possible,” say twins Aaron and Austin Rhodes. “What we’ve wanted to share for a long time is, ‘I’m gay,” says Aaron, “and ’I’m gay too,’” says Austin.
Both twins are out to everyone in their life except their dad, who they telephone in the video. The brothers break down in tears. One says: “I didn’t want you to find out through YouTube. I feel like we’re close enough and I finally feel like I’m at that point now to be able to tell you and I just want to be able to have you behind us 100%, I don’t want you to not love us anymore.”
“Stop it. Would you just stop? It’s the way things are,” responds their dad. “You grew up in a lot different generation to me. You know? You know I love you both and that will never change.”
“You’ve gotta live your lives and you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do.”
Coming out as ‘grey-a’
“I’m more attracted to men than I am to women, although I’m not particularly attracted to either,” says Sally in her coming out video. She goes on to talk about why it’s important, as a science professional, to come out, in order to celebrate the diversity within the industry that’s rarely platformed.
“The majority are okay with queer people, but there is still a minority who think I should burn in hell,” she says. “There is such a lack of visibility in this sector,” she continues.
Sally hopes to “show other people that it is okay to come out. They can see the response to this video... That’s why I decided making a coming out video is important.”
And a few inspiring celebs coming out too:
HuffPost UK recently interviewed queer Black drill rapper Mista Strange about coming out in an industry that’s predominantly straight. Strange is a true pioneer, coming out in a drill rap video – a subgenre traditionally responding to gang violence and urban crime – and has inspired a legion of others.
“I knew it would be controversial, but I didn’t expect it to blow up like it did,” the rapper tells HuffPost UK. “In a way I’ve opened a door, I’m definitely leading the way for a load of gay kids, rappers, that just wanna be able to be themselves. I’ve shown that it can be done and it’s not going to end badly.”
“Being a gay Black male,” he carries on, “I feel like the torch is hotter. When that torch is passed, I have a bigger responsibility in a way.
Nikki Tutorials
Nikkie de Jager, the beauty blogger with more than 13 million subscribers, first revealed to them she was transgender in an emotional 17 minute video.
The 25-year-old makeup artist explains she had been forced into telling her story after being blackmailed, but felt liberated by sharing her truth.
“I wanted to start the year off by finally revealing a part of my life that has made me who I am. It’s time to let go and be truly free.” She goes on to say: “When I was younger I was born in the wrong body, which means that I am transgender.”
Described her journey to the news, she says: “With this message I want to inspire little Nikkies around the world, who feel insecure and out of place, who feel misunderstood. I hope by me standing up and being free, that it inspires other to do the same... We need to accept each other, we need to respect each other but most of all we need to hear each other and understand,” she says.
Troye Sivan
It’s surreal watching Troye, aged 18, in his coming out video, which was presumably filmed at his family home in Australia. Pre-stylist, pre-international fame, Troye the YouTuber comes out in a remarkably confident vlog, although he admits it’s probably “the most nervous” he’s ever been.
“I feel like you guys are real, genuine friends of mine,” he says. “This is not something I should be ashamed of, so why not share it with you guys. If anything, it brought me and my friends and family a lot closer because I didn’t have anything to hide anymore.
“It’s really really shit in the beginning, but don’t worry, it gets better. It can be good right from the start. You could have a completely smooth sail out of the closet...
“Contact me with any queries,” he adds, saying he’s adding a “whole load” of resources for young gay teens in the notes, “the kind of resources which helped me out when I was a scared fourteen year old. ” Those resources are still there. Remarkably, so is his email address.
Ellen Page
Ellen Page came out at the Time To Thrive conference, hosted by the Human Rights Campaign. No one knew she would be coming out – and after she delivered her powerful speech, she received a spontaneous standing ovation.
″There are pervasive stereotypes about masculinity and femininity that define how we’re supposed to act, dress and speak and they serve no-one,” she says in her speech. “All of us can do so much more together than any one person can do alone. And I hope that thought bolsters you as it does me.”
“I am here today because I am gay, and because maybe I can make a difference. To help others have an easier and more helpful time. I feel a personal obligation and a social responsibility. I also do it selflessly, because I’m tired of hiding, and I’m tired of lying by omission. I suffered for years because I was scared to be out. My spirit suffered, my mental health suffered, and my relationships suffered,” says Page.
“I am standing here today with all of you on the other side of that pain... What I have learned is that love – the beauty of it, the joy of it and yes, even the pain of it – is the most beautiful gift to receive as a human being.”
Coming out on TikTok
YouTube’s only one way to come out digitally... Check out this compilation too.
Need help coming out?
We all did. Or do. If you’d like some more practical advice about coming out to friends, family, or even just yourself, call or text any of the charities below. Best of luck, and happy Coming Out Day! xxx
Stonewall offer free support and advice on coming out
Shout offer support day and night for LGBTQ+ people wanting to come out or in other need.
Mind Out offer confidential support.
Switchboard offer information and support, as well as referrals, for LGBTQ+ people.