José Mourinho New Chelsea Manager: His Best Quotes

'A Swan With Bird Flu, For Me That's A Drama'

José Mourinho's return to Chelsea will delight some writers as much as their fans.

Mourinho is coming back to a country where he enjoyed an impeccable relationship with the media. He rarely hid his contempt for the Italian or Spanish press and, in the case of some portions of the latter, they didn't hide theirs either.

So here are some of the best Mourinho soundbites from his first Chelsea era...

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Mourinho rarely disappointed the British press

"Please don't call me arrogant, but I'm European champion and I think I'm a special one" - at his unveiling in 2004.

"If Roman Abramovich helped me out in training we would be bottom of the league and if I had to work in his world of big business, we would be bankrupt!" - on his relationship with the Chelsea owner.

"The dog is fine in Portugal - that big threat is away - you don't have to worry about crime any more" - after the police questioned him over whether his dog had a pet passport in 2007.

"Some clubs are treated as devils, some are treated as angels. I don't think we are so ugly that we should be seen as the devil and I don't think Arsène Wenger and David Dein are so beautiful that they should be viewed as angels" - taunting Arsenal.

"Wenger has a real problem with us and I think he is what you call in England a voyeur. He is someone who likes to watch other people. There are some guys who, when they are at home, have this big telescope to look into the homes of other people and see what is happening. Wenger must be one of them - and it is a sickness" - taunting Wenger.

"I don't regret it. The only thing I have to understand is I'm in England, so maybe even when I think I am not wrong, I have to adapt to your country and I have to respect that. I have a lot of respect for Liverpool fans and what I did, the sign of silence - 'shut your mouth' - was not for them, it was for the English press" - Mourinho defends putting a finger to his lips during the 2005 League Cup final against Liverpool, an action which resulted in him being sent off.

"Look at my haircut. I am ready for the war" - unveiling a short crop.

"I felt the power of Anfield, it was magnificent. I felt it didn't interfere with my players but maybe it interfered with other people and maybe it interfered with the result. You should ask the linesman why he gave a goal. Because, to give a goal, the ball must be 100% in and he must be 100% sure that the ball is in" - Mourinho questions Luis García's goal which defeated Chelsea in the 2005 Champions League semi-final.

"Barcelona are a great club. But in 200 years of history they have won the European Cup only once. I have been managing for a few years and I have already won the same amount" - Barcelona went on to win the Champions League that season (2006) and in two further years (2009 and 2011).

"When I saw Frank Rijkaard (then Barcelona coach) entering the referee's dressing room I couldn't believe it. When Didier Drogba was sent off (after half-time) I wasn't surprised" - on losing to Barcelona in 2006. He was later given a touchline ban by Uefa.

"We have played against them four matches in two seasons. (When it was) 11 against 11 they never beat us. That is the reality" - After 1-1 draw at the Nou Camp in 2006 which sent Barca through to the quarter-finals 3-2 on aggregate.

"I'm feeling a lot of pressure with the swan in Scotland. It's not far and I'm more scared of the swan than of football. What's football compared to life? A swan with bird flu, for me that's a drama." Mourinho is vexed more by bird flu than throwing away the 2006 title.

"No eggs, no omelette. And it depends on the quality of the eggs. In the supermarket, you have eggs class one, class two, class three. Some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes. So when the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot go there, you have a problem" - a parting shot at Abramovich, coming ahead of his final match in charge, for the Russian's failure to buy quality players to help his injury-hit squad.