Whether you plan to do either or both for this year's top public fund draining events; one thing is for sure there is a multitude of things out there for you to waste your hard earned on to remember them by.
I don't have time for either and know many that don't - sod the patriotism and jog on Olympians!
Don't be such a spoilt sport! - I hear you cry (And probably much worse) It's all for the common good and its fun!
Sure, If you say so but I refuse to be swept up in it all and when I finished weeping for how much money is being tossed up the wall for these events; I did shed a few tears of laughter for what some seem to think cash strapped Brit's and presumably equally gullible tourists - might just buy off the back of the hype.
Most of what's available are the kind of things you wouldn't buy to give to someone you hate or even for yet another 'Secret Santa' at work; even Del Boy wouldn't give them space in his flat - but I was surprised at just what you can get and how much you can spend.
For the Olympics of course you can get various incarnations of Hemlock and Mandelson, or whatever they're called - the one-eyed monster style mascots - and further delights as you would expect in the form of mugs, towels, t-shirts and the like.
But with no holding back the merchandisers have tried to cover every possibility; you can get in the groove for holding your own bedroom Olympics with this double duvet cover and pillow cases. Nice. And how about a game of cards after your bedroom antics with this fetching stainless steel card set for £2000 - yes that's right - two-grand!
This is nothing compared to what you can invest in for the Queens Diamond Jubilee, Her Majesty's event couldn't be seen to be outdone so none of that Charing Cross road gift shop tat of Beefeater Bulldogs and London buses with hastily applied Diamond Jubilee stickers, tea towels or coasters or even the Queens head shaped jelly mould I saw recently. Oh no.
There is a large range of ornaments and practical items such as crafted plates, crystal and glassware of course but whilst searching amongst such delights I found these, indeed fit for the Queen herself and requiring a Royal purse to buy...
So feeling flush and swept up in patriotic madness? - then splash out the £100,000 needed for one of the sixty Baccarat crystal decanters of 60 year old whisky produced especially by John Walker & Sons. Or how about a commemorative car? A snip at a price set to be above the usual list price of £225,000 - for the 'Jubilee Edition' of the Bentley Mulsanne.
But for those really with more money than sense (or taste) behold the precious!
Yes great joy of joys! - Diamond Jubilee Dwarves! - Yes that's right a pair of ornamental porcelain Beefeater style dwarves, a must have at £3500.
Still, If money is tight but you still feel the urge to commemorate then this is for you...
Written and performed by comedian Isabel Fay; a sketch with an amusing and a brilliant idea for creating (or recycling) memorabilia that we could use right now - watch it here... COMMEMORATIVE COMMEMORABILIA!
P.s - If you liked that, please check out some of Isabel's other work here at www.cleverpie.com/films/ Including the award winning 'With or Without U2'