ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Order) has been a big part of our family life for almost 11 years . We tend to muddle along in our own little way, whether that's right or acceptable or what. It's our life and we'll do what suits us. I hate the fact that I sometimes feel as though I've got to excuse my son's behaviour but, in the main, people are understanding.
My son's sleep pattern was a little strange from being born, so we knew that something wasn't quite right. If he'd have been the first child (he was our third) we'd have brushed it off and thought that we were just suffering from the curse of a sleepless baby. From six months on he never slept for more than two hours at a time and then proceeded to stay awake for eight hours. We had to take it in turns staying up with him... Disney films and Tweenies on a loop, eyes on matchsticks. He never slept in his cot but seemed to settle in his pushchair so we took that up to our bedroom on a couple of occasions.
Our GP was really helpful and we tried all sorts of of techniques but it was more than that - you just know as a parent, don't you? He was walking at nine months old, he seemed to have no concentration span but was really quick at picking up things. My Health Visitor was as much use as a chocolate teapot. On many occasions she was patronising and accused me of "not sticking to a routine" and "not being firm". Honestly, with three children under the age of eight you have to have a routine, don't you? And, lets face it - I wasn't exactly new to this parenting lark. We tried him on a small dose of Phenergan once but that had such drastic results (he cried solidly for four hours and then slept for twelve!) that we decided the un-naturalness of it all wasn't worth it for any of us.
The crux of it all was when he went to pre-school. His nursery teacher took me to one side one day and more or less said that she thought my concerns were justified - in her professional opinion she thought he had ADHD traits and this fitted in with everything I'd said, as we'd discussed his behaviour at length on many occasions.
After a referral to and many meetings with a paediatrician he was put onto Ritalin when he was five years old (he was in Yr 1 by this time). He had half a tablet in the morning before school and half a tablet at lunch time. It calmed it down but it calmed him down too much. And his teacher said that she could see the half tablet wearing off - she said his attention span would shorten and that he'd start fiddling with stuff or wandering around. I never liked him on the Ritalin because of what seemed like mood swings. He was spaced out and he wasn't our bouncy little boy any more.
The time this hit home was when his support worker (similar to a Special Educational Needs teacher) came to me and said that she was glad that he was coping better at school but she had noticed that his personality seemed a little repressed. She said that she could usually spot him in a sea of uniforms because he had a 'skip' in his step and that had all stopped since he'd started the Ritalin. That was what I needed. He came off the Ritalin there and then and we made another appointment to see his paediatrician. He agreed that Ritalin doesn't suit every child although it can be fantastic for some kids - usually older though. We agreed to keep regular appointments with him and kept a diet diary.
His triggers are orange juice (funnily enough, a supermarket's own brand was great and well known brand was the worst), fizzy drinks, certain artificial flavourings or colourings in foods and many more. Now, he's a lot better because he can sort of self-manage and we allow a little of everything, in moderation. We can see when he's getting 'hyper' because he rocks from side to side and we can remind him to calm down (he's twelve years old now). He has hardly any sense of fear, which is what scares me so much - he'll try anything and he'll show off to his friends sometimes.
One time he said to me that he hates his ADHD because his head tells him that some things are wrong but his body won't stop doing it. That upset me but it also helped me to understand a little bit more - and it helped the way in which we 'control' him. We also have to use LOTS of praise when he does something good or he's been especially well behaved somewhere but we don't spoil him - that wouldn't have been fair on the other two. I'm dreading the teen years because I've heard and read the experience of parents with hormonal children with ADHD and it's not a fun time! But forewarned is forearmed.
I never wanted to "label" any of my children but I know what a bloody lonely world it is out there for parents with kids on the spectrum. Sometimes you feel like you're screaming into space and that no-one can hear you.