The Dark Lord Voldemort has joined a group of 11 NHS bosses to distance himself from Jeremy Hunt's policies after it was speculated some dark magic may have been at play.
"Jeremy Hunt is not one of my Death Eaters nor do we condone his actions," He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named told HuffPost UK.
"We have carried out some truly horrific acts in our time, but Mr Hunt's actions exceed any evil we could possibly comprehend."
Hunt could not immediately be reached for comment due to the lack of phone reception in Knockturn Alley.