The early joke doing the rounds is Juan Mata is in police custody after he attempted a U-turn on the M6. Manchester United's penalty shootout loss to Sunderland in the semi-finals of the Capital One Cup was as gutless as their apparent attempt to qualify through the away goals rule against a side 19th in the Premier League table.
Danny Welbeck and Phil Jones both missed the target completely, while Vito Mannone repelled Adnan Januzaj and Rafael da Silva's feeble efforts. Sunderland failed to convert three penalties themselves, but prevailed 2-1 on spotkicks and will play at Wembley for the first time since 1998.
With United trailing 2-1 from the first leg, Jonny Evans' first-half goal levelled the tie and took it into extra-time, with the away goals rule coming into effect after 120 minutes.
On 119 minutes, David de Gea committed the worst mistake of his career when, resembling a cricket fielder's long barrier stance, he palmed Phil Bardsley's shot into his own net. It was Sunderland's first effort on target all night.
A minute later, Adnan Januzaj played the ball across goal for Javier Hernández to take the tie to penalties, where Ki Sung-Yueng's conversion proved to be the winner.