Now my youngest will be turning three in the new year, I feel like I have finally got my mojo back. In that I mean I don't feel like a walking zombie anymore. When you are talking to me, I am listening now rather than staring right through your brain in a haze. I don't have those moments of willing baby back to sleep again for a little while longer, or driving around the block with the three of them hoping they will all go to sleep and I can pull-up on the drive and fall asleep with them. I don't have 'The Fear.' 'The Fear' is when your weary body is about to fall on the bed and your blurry head hit the pillow ready for bed and you are scared that baby may stir at that moment. That moment when there is no energy left in your body and the worse thing in the world ever would be for baby to wake. That thought makes me shudder. It is still raw. I finally have less bums to wipe. After six years of constantly wiping bums, it gets a bit boring doesn't it? I don't hate my husband as much now for those months and months that he didn't notice baby No.3 waking up in the night, and I don't want to stab him anymore *winky face*. Just punching in the face is probably as harsh as my thoughts get. The days are gone of not wanting to go out in an evening as I am just too tired. The days where you make yourself go on a night out as you know it will be good to be away from noise, bedtime chaos, moaning, fighting, bickering and one less nappy change to do. You will be able to spend ten minutes on choosing your clothes and ten minutes to put your make-up on. When you are out you will be able to go to the toilet on your own. I think that was my main incentive for evenings out. I remember those days of really looking forward to a 'mummy meet-up' and then 'low and behold', the night before will be the night that baby is up most of the night. You would rather spend the day at home, but you need to get out and have a moan. You are desperate to see another adult. Somebody who won't ask you to wipe their bum (I hope), or throw food down your nice top that you just put on. God forbid that you should look and feel good for a day.
In all the turmoil though, it is so important to have time out. As a person, it is your basic right to have a bit of time to yourself. Self-importance and well-being are vital in being a good parent. If you are frazzled, the household will be frazzled. Kids sense tension and will just play up more. It is a vicious circle. My husband had always worked weekends and most evenings a week since our first baby was born, and one thing that was really hard to hear was, "You need time for yourself". "I blooming know," I used to think. However it is pretty impossible in some situations. People who have husbands who work away from home will totally hear this. What I learnt is, whatever situation you have, you can make time for yourself. Time for yourself isn't costly and it doesn't have to be a spa day, just an hour out a day for you. My mum would take the two eldest children to Sainsbury (she still does) on a Sunday when my husband is away. I LOVE a couple of hours of just a bit more peace. Yep, I still have one child with me, but it is still a break from the norm. It is amazing how liberating it can feel to have just an hour off. So, make today your day for "Me, me, me." I have written below some tips. Any men reading this...if you can help your partner have time to do any of the below or do a couple of household chores this week, do it. It is the equivalent of foreplay!
Read a book, a bit of escapism goes along way
Buy a fitness DVD and work out 2 or 3 times a week (whenever you can find the energy)
If a friend/neighbour can watch baby/toddler for an hour, go swimming
Buy a cheesy chat mag or fashion mag each week
Join a gym if money allows
Take up yoga or pilates. Something where your mind can relax too
Start up a team - netball or hockey, or something you used to enjoy when younger
Sign up for the next local marathon
Pick up the phone and call an old friend once a week
If you really want the answer to a healthy mind and body, use a homeopath. I swear by mine
A healthy mind and also a good diet will go along way. I also read that once a day you should do something that scares you. Taking three kids out to dinner in a public place scares me...does that count?
Head over to mammarazzi blog to read more of my parenting journey, and anything in between.