Unwanted gazes.
Being followed.
Blocking my pathway.
Honking and pulling up on the pavement to tell me what you'd like to do to me.
Inappropriately touching me in crowded places and say it was an accident with a smirk on your face.
A non-consensual embrace making me feel uncomfortable.
Openly making vulgar gestures and catcalling from afar that I have to cross to the other side of the road.
Being called difficult when I speak up.
Somehow thinking it is your place to lecture me on how I can be sexy, according to your shallow standards.
Making unwelcome attempts to talk to me about sexual matters.
Inappropriate emails and messages.
After repeatedly saying "No" to your advances and you come back to me saying that most women would kill to be in my position.
Me Too is an everyday reality for women.
Harvey Weinstein and Terry Richardson revelations have highlighted an issue that is both widespread and unfortunately normalised. When I told my parents I wanted to pursue an acting career, they warned me of unwanted advances and how it comes hand-in-hand with the job. As a woman I had to expect it, accept it and rise above it. But how about not having to deal with it at all? Unfortunately, there are systems where a sense of entitlement fuels the exploitation of many with more than 50 women coming forward accusing Weinstein of sexual harassment and abuse. It is essential to understand that this is not just happening in Hollywood and this has been happening way before Weinstein.
In the UK workplace alone, 52% of women had experienced some form of sexual harassment at work. Nearly a quarter had been touched without invitation; a fifth had experienced a sexual advance.
According to ONS Crime Survey for England and Wale, year ending March 2017:
- In the last year, there were 121,113 sexual offenses committed in England and Wales, of which 41,150 were rape.
- The number of rape cases recorded by the police has risen by 15 % compared to 2016.
- One in five women in England Wales has experienced some form of sexual violence since the age of 16.
So where do we go from here? If you have been sexually harassed and abused, it is not your fault! And those who think victim blaming and shaming is the way to go? Don't! As Cate Blanchett stated: "Women enjoy looking sexy should not be an invitation for men to try and bed them. And to quote Sue Perkins on her appearance on the Last Leg: "And then to blame women and for those older women [to] say, 'why didn't they come forward?' To not understand why they did it is not to understand the notion of shame.' Unfortunately, we live in a culture where women are told "not to get raped, " and men are rarely told, "don't rape." Where speaking out about rape is a call for attention and rape victims silenced.
You no longer have to be silent. With the social media movement of #MeToo, #MyJobShouldNotIncludeAbuse, and #itsrevolting women and men are using the platform to share their story. Keep speaking and continue to shed light on this issue. When we say "No" it does not mean "Convince me." No means NO.
For support visit the following:
Victim Support
https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/
Supportline: 080816809111
Rape Crisis
rapecrisis.org.uk
Helpline: 08088029999 (12-2.30 & 7-9.30)
Women Against Rape
womenagainstrape.net
The Survivors Trust
thesurvivorstrust.org
Helpline: 08088010818
Women's Aid Federation
womensaid.org.k
National Domestic Violence Helpline (24 hours): 08082000247