Mr Michael Twist takes you on a journey into the dark recesses of his macabre yet humorous life. This wheelchair bound 79 year old Octogenarian was born with a rare condition.....baby girls hands. Let him take you on a journey to meet 'These Twisted Folk': 'As I always say, if Tim Burton had written a sitcom - I would be in it.'
The gossip had been rife of late. Rife I tell you. You could not move for mummers, whispers, snide sideward glances and the airing of rancid laundry. One of the main topics of conflab was that Mrs Jones from 46, had fallen out with Mrs Edwards at 32 AND Mrs Carlton at 30, (whose just turned 63 on the 7th) because they snubbed Mrs Fellows at 45 as she left Mrs Peters at 52 at 2:45 on the Monday just gone. Apparently it's all over Mrs Butcher being barred from bingo for secretly putting lasers in her catarax glasses to burn new numbers on her sheet. Silly mare! Well....I was happy to be getting out of this estate. Yes.....you read right punter. I was leaving my little warden protected flat. Me and my spidery frame were crawling away....for a while anyway. For I had a dream. Yes, a dream to tell my story, the story of my circus life. I wanted to get up and perform again like I use to. Hear the applause, see the smiles and smell the damp. I wanted to go to not only avoid the fore mentioned jibber-jabba of my hometown, but to embark on a little (ad) venture that I'd been toying with for a while. Not so long ago I applied to be part of one of the world's most prestigious and longest running events in the world. Thousands of people traipse there, the streets are heaving, prices are raised and the ambiance is jubilant. But after finding out that performance wasn't an Olympic sport, I decide to head off up to Edinburgh for a little festival they have. As I type, myself and my lovely carer Rainbow are heading up in her van. She got custody of it after her split with Periwinkle, it's perfect. A long wheel base high roof Ford Transit 668. I'm so glad, as Rainbow's Mum's Punto would have a been a bit of a squeeze for my bandy legs! Must go. I need to pee in a little chef.
Michael Twist is a character from Tom Cottle's Edinburgh Fringe show 'These Twisted Folk'.
Tom Cottle's These Twisted Folk - The Edinburgh Fringe Festival, 22.45 @ Underbelly.