A mum has asked parents whether they think she is being unreasonable to send a stern note to families of kids who cancelled on her daughter’s birthday party.
The Mumsnet user also said she had considered sending an invoice to cover the expenses she forked out ahead of the 16th party.
“My daughter is 16 and her party is tomorrow, first one for five years,” the mum wrote on 8 September.
“I have saved forever to do a fun and unusual activity [paintballing] for her ‘friendship group’. Invites given out late July before school broke up. Reminder invites in August before deadline for paying deposit and ordering/paying for food.”
“Tonight, three people have told my daughter they are not coming,” she wrote. “Two have yet to say yes or no. Out of 12 (including daughter). Minimum for activity is 10.
“When, just when, did people become so rude and unconscious of wasting money?”
The mum went on to reiterate that she had paid the deposit for the girls and the reasons some dropped out were mainly down to issues with transport.
Many parents agreed that it was “rude” for the teenagers to pull out last minute, but also discussed whether the teens were be old enough to sort it out themselves.
“Did they say they were coming before you paid the deposit?” one wrote. “If they didn’t, they’re rude for not responding but you were a bit silly to book.
“If they RSVPed and have now changed their minds You are not being unreasonable. That’s shit.”
Another wrote: “They are very inconsiderate. I can understand how tempting it is to say something, but at 16 years old, I think you have to let them sort it out themselves (unless your daughter wants you to get involved).”
Another parent wrote: “Does your daughter want you to contact the parents? If she is okay with it, I think I might contact them.
“They might not realise that you paid for it and need 10 participants and when their daughters are saying they don´t want to go, they are just seeing an opportunity not to drive, not thinking through what it will mean to you and your daughter.”
Others offered solutions including inviting other friends along, or speaking to the venue about cancelling and explaining the situation.
“No you are not being unreasonable,” one mum wrote. “I am not sure about invoicing but a stern note is a good idea. Try and salvage what you can and let it be a lesson learned for future.”